Video warns of "illuminati pyramid" clocks


#1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/11/28/video-warns-of-illuminati-py.html


#2

my best friend growing up had one of these… ahhhh the 80s! I always knew he was “one of them”…


#3

You miss the point. We never kept those brainwashing devices in our own homes, only distributed them to … wait. Oh no, I’ve said too much. And now the doorbell is ringing…


#4

The voice it tells you the time in kind of reminds me of a Dalek…
Six sixteeeeeeen! pm. Exterminaaaate!


#5

Nothing to see here, this is completely unremarkable.

Fnord


#6

When you combine pyramids with Illuminati, you get Pyranati. Or Illuminids. Or idiots.


#7

Tsk! So old school.

Clock watches you!


#8

Don’t worry, the woman without a face that lives in everyone’s home is already there. The doorbell is just a formality, she’s already packed up your things.


#9

Sure, but how does it perform in terms of keeping razor blades sharp?


#10

“Don’t try to frighten us with your sorcerer’s ways, Lord Ballard. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the Stanley Cup.”


#11

but will it sharpen my razor blades?


#12

That’s nothing, you should see the actual Illuminati Pyramids in Egypt, they’re huge, and made of almost 100% pure illuminatium.


#13

image

I laughed too hard thinking that someone went through the effort of “researching” this clock without noticing the Seiko brand name on the side.


#14

So, uh, the Illuminati pyramid is a tetrahedron. Is that the sinister part? I hope so, 'cause it’s got me effing freaked out over here!


#15

And here I thought Steve Jackson Games was launching another Kickstarter.


#16

I keep grain in mine.
A sleepy voice comes out; “Merry Christmas,” it says.


#17

Well, I was sold on this video’s theory until it started talking about the second clock. No self-respecting Illuminatus would bother with a tetrahedron.


#18

I think that’s referring to the second pyramid clock they show.


#19

Or piles. (They know where they can shove their pointy pyramid.)


#20