Video warns of "illuminati pyramid" clocks


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my best friend growing up had one of these… ahhhh the 80s! I always knew he was “one of them”…


You miss the point. We never kept those brainwashing devices in our own homes, only distributed them to … wait. Oh no, I’ve said too much. And now the doorbell is ringing…


The voice it tells you the time in kind of reminds me of a Dalek…
Six sixteeeeeeen! pm. Exterminaaaate!


Nothing to see here, this is completely unremarkable.



When you combine pyramids with Illuminati, you get Pyranati. Or Illuminids. Or idiots.


Tsk! So old school.

Clock watches you!


Don’t worry, the woman without a face that lives in everyone’s home is already there. The doorbell is just a formality, she’s already packed up your things.


Sure, but how does it perform in terms of keeping razor blades sharp?


“Don’t try to frighten us with your sorcerer’s ways, Lord Ballard. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the Stanley Cup.”


but will it sharpen my razor blades?


That’s nothing, you should see the actual Illuminati Pyramids in Egypt, they’re huge, and made of almost 100% pure illuminatium.



I laughed too hard thinking that someone went through the effort of “researching” this clock without noticing the Seiko brand name on the side.


So, uh, the Illuminati pyramid is a tetrahedron. Is that the sinister part? I hope so, 'cause it’s got me effing freaked out over here!


And here I thought Steve Jackson Games was launching another Kickstarter.


I keep grain in mine.
A sleepy voice comes out; “Merry Christmas,” it says.


Well, I was sold on this video’s theory until it started talking about the second clock. No self-respecting Illuminatus would bother with a tetrahedron.


I think that’s referring to the second pyramid clock they show.


Or piles. (They know where they can shove their pointy pyramid.)