I wanted to edit my post to correct my own language, but I can’t with the slow mode.
I need to be clear, this isn’t even a right versus wrong thing. There’s not even a right choice in this situation and this dumb conversation just shows how easy it is to get sucked into the reductive thinking that there is a way to armchair quarterback how to be a victim of assault properly.
There isn’t a way to prove it was the thing to do and what I mean to say is “that authorities must have a high degree of empathy for allowing individuals to react naturally” because it’s about empathizing with people who are forced into a situation and had consequences forced onto them. It’s not a test to be graded.
If I misunderstood, then my apologies; perhaps try communicating more effectively that you’re speaking about your own experiences, rather than projecting onto this particular story.
That said, too many people here are still missing the point; society as it is currently is the fucking problem.
Not whether potential victims can or do fight back, but that we inhabit a society that values property over people, men over women, Whites over everyone… etc.
I haven’t missed your point. I know you’re absolutely right. And I think that we can fight the problem with our words, our votes, our BB comments–and also with our fists and feet, in the real world. I think we can help and encourage each other. I think we can give each other strength.
I worked as a trained therapist for rape victims for 5 years. Each person’s experience was unique. Insisting that what works for one person one time is the right way for everyone every time is incredibly myopic and ignorant.
Edited to add….
That is simply not true. Hateful, as well. Since you’re not arguing in good faith, there’s no point in trying to have a discussion with you. Have a nice life.
No one here has said that there is only one way to act when faced with assault, or as a survivor of assault. It has been said that praising one person’s response can have a negative impact on those who had different responses. No one was advocating that telling people to fight back and giving them some training in how to do so effectively would be any kind of panacea. It was said that doing so would cause additional trauma to some other survivors of assault who felt they hadn’t “fought enough”.
Some of the comments are no longer here. A simple search of the thread for the words “best” or “classes” should still show you a few examples of the suggestions that were made. As was pointed out multiple times above, the implication in what was said by law enforcement in this case as well as fighting being the only suggestion made by multiple people, is what set off the responses pointing out the problems in what was said in the article and suggested here.
Again, some of those comments went into the bin - where they belong.
Right!? There are a hundred things people could focus on.
She trusted her instincts about the guy and didn’t second guess herself when she first met him and he made her uncomfortable. She had adults who believed her when she told them that and took it seriously. She had adults she could trust. She had some one filming.
So many things to focus on but we’d rather pretend that anyone is telling girls “nah just get abducted” than admit that it’s pretty fucked up to pretend little girls have the hand combat skills to actually protect themselves from grown ass men.
It’s fucked up.
I know it’s scary but a lot of people think more about comforting themselves from reality than anything else and that’s how it comes across to me.
