Originally published at: Watch: Missouri pastor enraged at his congregation for not buying him a luxury watch | Boing Boing
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Jesus heaved…
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They did manage to scrape together enough funds for a few needles and a camel though
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Jesus working on filling up baskets with loaves of bread and fish to feed a crowd
Pastor: “What the fuck is this shit? It’s not even whitefin tuna or rainbow trout.”
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Christ, what an asshole.
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As the Gospel of Mark says:
32 “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.
33 Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come.
The words ‘Unless of course you have a Patek Philippe’ were struck out by the Council of Rome.
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“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”
Edit: seems like the kind of guy who would do this(emphasis mine, because he’s also the kind of monster who uses pictures of text rather than text on his website):
I can only wonder at the motives of the congregation. Are they really so awful at christianity that they’d choose a service provider like this pathetic hack; or is finding quality salvation goods in some areas as difficult as finding a decent grocery store?
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Money lender in the temple…
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Was Jesus best known for his expensive clothes and jewellry? Or was he a working class carpenter turned rabbi?
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Fake ass clergy always make me think of this scene from “Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood”:
Don’t ask no questions. Don’t ask how come, or why come the pastor have to have him a nice house, humph, or why come the pastor got to have a nice car, humph. Don’t ask. I said don’t ask. I said don’t ask no questions… just give the money.
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Unless they have taken a legit vow of piety, I don’t trust clergymen in general.
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This is why Jesus famously only associated with the classiest, most successful and best-dressed of the Pharisees.
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Grifters gonna grift
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This can’t be real.
It. Just. Can’t.
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Organized religion is a scam
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If there’s one takeaway from the Gospels, it’s that Jesus Christ’s disciples should enjoy the finest Swiss craftsmanship.
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Oh lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes-Benz?
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My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends
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It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of the needle than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God without a Louis Vuitton watch.
—Matthew 19:24-24.5
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