Watch the Angry Birds movie trailer!

[PhasmaFelis]

Where the bleeding fuck did they get limbs?

[Boundegar]

Well, you see how I used the subjunctive mood to discuss hypothetical future movies?

[telecinese]

@ficuswhisperer

The pigs stole their eggs, man. And the birds are angry. roll credits

This was all established in the opening cinematic of the original AB.

[OtherMichael]

@L_Mariachi

Come to think of it, why did they need that giant slingshot?

THEY ARE LAZY AND DESERVE TO HAVE THEIR EGGS STOLEN BY THE TRUE JOB-CREATORS

@PhasmaFelis

And this is why the Bad Piggies game is way more fun than anything Angry Birds.

If nothing else, Bad Piggies has gotten my son to make crazy, bizarre, unstable agglomerations of buildings and vechicles with his Duplos and other construction toys. Hooray! Weird architecture was always my favorite thing, anyway (after “zombie spacemen” - which was classic lego spacemen with the faces turned backwards in the helmets, leaving them with a blank visage. I used to take lots of pictures of them with my 110 camera. ALL LOST. I hope.)

[doop]

Yeah, I always thought angry birds was a parable of the Israel-Palestine conflict. Does seem weird to make a kid’s movie out of it.

[anon26940528]

@Boundegar

Has Hollywood ever considered having writers write scripts? With characters and stories?

The Angry Birds has something approaching a story? I’m pretty sure they had to make one up from whole cloth here.

ETA:

@fuzzyfungus

I suspect that it wouldn’t focus-group very well; but I’d propose a gritty reboot, ideally in muted Quake-palette with sharply colored accents for impacts and the like; with less celebrity-voice-actor-grating-comic-mischief and more emphasis on the “When they’ve taken everything; you are your weapon of vengeance.” message.

The only real question is whether to make the pigs unidimensionally evil; or explore the brutalizing effect of the conflict on even those pigs who had originally been moderate; and the grim horror of porcine life in some of the obviously unsafe target structures…

I… I would watch that.

[Brainspore]

@L_Mariachi

Come to think of it, why did they need that giant slingshot? They’re birds. They can fly without a launch apparatus.

Actually the setting may explain this; it’s not unusual for geographically isolated island-dwelling species of birds to adapt to a flightless lifestyle. Notable examples include the flightless cormorants of the Galapagos, the kiwis of New Zealand and the Big Bird of Manhattan.

[SolaruC]

@fuzzyfungus

The only real question is whether to make the pigs unidimensionally evil

Well that one pig had a Guy Fieri goatee? GOOD WORK ON CREATING A VILLAIN WORTH EXTERMINATION SONY!

Also, bonus points for how all the birds needs limbs and legs to just YELL the visual cues that they’re angry! It’s like they’re trying to be the next Dreamworks Animation!

(protip: not even Dreamworks Animation wants to be associated with “Dreamworks Animation”.)