I’ve made a stove out of a 24oz beercan. It’s very clean burning, all you need is some 151, a pair of scissors or a knife you don’t mind dulling, and a few carefully placed holes.
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Somebody, please, calculate a calorie count on those cannonballs!
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Beer can? I say “Ha!” They could have used a tall glass, or a can of anything, since all they used it for was to mold the meat into a cup.
“Beer can,” in cooking, is a BBQ technique invented some years ago. It involves sticking a topless beer can — partly filled, spices or whatever in it — up a chicken’s ass. The chicken sits on the can while being grilled, looking a lot like a sumo wrestler crouched and ready. The beer (or Coke!) suffuses the chicken from inside. The finished chicken is delicious, and the cooking process is hilarious. Win-win.
Point being, THAT is beer can cooking. It involves the beer AND the can, both of which are essential. That distinctly does NOT apply to this dish, “Pigmeat-Wrapped Cow Meat With Mystery Meat Filling [No Beer Can Was Harmed In The Making Of This Cholesterolfuck].”
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Those are not burgers, they are stuffed meat balls :). I appreciate the ingenuity, but I haaate tall burgers. If I have to squish the burger or dislocate my jaw, it is made wrong.
And another thing, there are only two buns for burgers. Either fresh, fluffy, baked the same day light as air white buns, or brioche. Two day old kaisars make me sick. SICK, I tell you.
Yet another thing. If you put a giant slice of unripe, rubbery, slimy tomato that just wants to shoot out the other side when I take a bite, I will find you and stab you in the neck with a fork. Fresh, ripe, thin toms only.
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Another thing, ripped up pieces of lettuce in the shape of itally yet stacked unevenly in a burger is a crime. Especially when they jut out of one side and make it look like the leaning tower of Pisa.
Shredded iceburg is also a war crime.
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You must really draw a crowd at 4th of July cookouts 
Why yes, I am usually conscripted to cook on July 4 (which I enjoy), and those screeds were obviously tongue in cheek. 
Except the tomato part. Disgusting, hard, tasteless, grainy, slimy tomatoes can diaf.
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I usually avoid tomatoes I haven’t grown myself if I can help it.
Industrialized farming has really destroyed everything good about tomatoes. All tomatoes used to be the size of a cherry or even a blueberry, incredibly nutrient-dense, drought resistant, and so packed with flavor it’ll make your head spin.
But the demands of commercial cultivation have made them pretty much the Great Dane of the fruit world. Soggy, flavorless, gigantic and really unappealing to eat. They’ve been bred for the last hundred years to look good on a shelf, and survive a few thousand miles in a tractor trailer, and to endure going through the freezer.
Which isn’t to say that I’m against genetic engineering and selective breeding. It’s exciting technology, and is necessary if we have any hope to feed the world.
It’s just… We’ve made the tomato gross just through selective breeding, and now the anti-GMO fearmongers are making it exceedingly difficult to put the best traits back into tomatoes and other produce. Traits that were lost as an inadvertent trade for better shelf appeal and shelf life. We never intended to make them bland, and slimy and unappealing, but now that we have a chance to make tomatoes really just super great, the GMO fear is holding back the progress of flavor itself.
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I totally agree. All my life I’ve had relative good access to delicate, excellent toms. It is hard to stomach factory ones when you know the smell of tomato vines.
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