Watch this douchey dealer training video for the 1989 Chevy Celebrity

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/01/10/watch-this-douchey-dealer-trai.html

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Drive the right car. Dear lord the only thing that could say BOOOOOORING more than that car is a station wagon.
Ohh look.

ETA The 76 Fury has nicer lines if you ask me.

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I loved the way-back. Made me feel like I was in a limo or something buckled in facing the opposite way.

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There is something unique about that late 80s/early 90s orthogonally-rugged car aesthetic, for good or for ill.

commentary_when_you_buy_an_old

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Anyone else thought this was going to feature Chevy Chase?

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My friend had a Celebrity. 86 I think?

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Is JB constantly interrupting the other guy scripted or just bad acting?

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Is there a higher concentration of douchey car dealers there?

I love how progressive this video is. Notice the lady at 3:14 who does the power pump “YES!” gesture as she lands some home run or other sports thingy. Is it home run or touchdown for golf?

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The correct term is “whole in one” - it’s when you complete all the 18 pots of a golf pitch in a single punt.

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What a boring car.

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They’re not even at a golf course. That’s the Dunsmuir House in Oakland CA.

Now where did I put my plaid pants?

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Boss: “…plenty of room in the trunk!”

He opens the trunk to reveal a seemingly-dead body that looks exactly like himself, in a kind of amniotic sac, and another that looks like his smiling underling…

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There are a lot of sub-cultures in the US that I don’t get, but the one that I REALLY REALLY REALLY don’t get is car dealers. Yeah, I get they wanna sell shit, but it’s way over the top.

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1001

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Those guys would not look out of place at Bedminster golf club - or the current White House.

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"Mazda???

Not in my parking lot!"

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I had to quit 3 minutes in. It seemed like a white male patriarchy indoctrination video.

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I love seeing the car nosedive when they hit the brakes. That’s quality engineering!

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Hey, hey, hey now…show some respect, will you! We had a swell beige Celebrity Wagon that proved to be emblematic of the quality for which the American auto industry was rightly regarded around the planet. Look at the fit and finish of those doors…just like mine! The wobbly suspension bottomed out just right over the everyday bumps and potholes of our local byways too. What doesn’t show (at the time of that shot) was the unparalleled body integrity made rust-proofing more than a speculative matter. By the time the rot kicked through the rocker panels, we hardly noticed the vast array of clinks, clanks, rattles, and pieces breaking off. The brakes were chipper too!

My grown kids still take great enjoyment reminiscing about the fun that ole Celebrity provided in its all too short lifespan.

I couldn’t get past the two minute mark on the video.

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