Let me be clear: Except for the donut shop, Fuck Wichita.
I see this talking point and agree there is sexism in Healthcare when it comes to reproductive decisions, as I am sure will be evident later in my post.
My own experience (just one datapoint) is that as a mid-30’s unmarried man looking for a vasectomy, I received many (but not all) of the same questions.
There was no request for my romantic partner to come in to the discussion. There was questions about the age of my romantic partner, and the suggestion perhaps I may in unforeseen circumstances meet someone younger who wanted children.
I was told it was not normally done on men my age without children. The doctor really wanted me not to do it.
I got flak from guy friends of mine about my decision. People with no skin in the game were concerned. For my own personal reasons, the only woman in my life who is aware of my decision is my now-wife who was there with me that day.
My doctor was also male, and what he seemed to be most convinced by was my annoyance at his questioning of my motivations and consideration of what I was asking.
Overall, I was surprised by the whole affair. Maybe I am just accustomed to asking for Healthcare and receiving it with no drama.
Thank you for listening and you may draw your own conclusions.
The stories I see aren’t like “my doctor asked if I was reeeeeeally sure”
but far more often along the lines of “my doctor said absolutely not” either because they’re “too young”, or spousal consent, or sometimes even shit like “what if you get married and he wants kids?” to which the obvious answer was, he fucked up picking someone who’s chosen not to be fertile.
You can buy an adapter.
For wired landlines:
https://www.amazon.com/Converter-Antique-Rotary-Telephone-Modern/dp/B00DUDAR5M
Bluetooth adapter so you can use rotary phones to via your cell phone:
https://www.amazon.com/Xtreme-Technolgoies-XLink-Bluetooth-Gateway/dp/B08RXF16XD
That last one was shown in a propmaster video as a way to use and ring old telephones, including their ringers.
There are entire hospital chains that won’t let doctors do it at all.
Religion has helped keep parts of the US, parts even in otherwise liberal areas, stuck in the 1950s.
Sure, but they’d have to order it from the Sears catalog, not Amazon!
Looking at her Instagram that was posted here it is interesting to see that she has a story called anti-racism, which is a collection of the kind of links to talks and lists of black owner businesses that many liberal white people posted at the height of the BLM movement. Which is great (much has been said about the performativity aspect of that of course but that isn’t my point here), however it doesn’t contain what I expected it to contain when I clicked on it. What I had expected was her talking to the camera and specifically talking about the problematic aspect of her hobby/lifestyle rather than about racism in modern society.
So at least it seems she isn’t doing what she’s doing for malicious reasons but rather out of naiveté.
Aren’t vasectomies reversible?
Given that, all that pressure not to get one seems odd.
Yes, they are. And less invasive than tubals, too.
The reversal may not always be possible, so you are instructed to treat it as non-reversible.
Fair enough, but it is STILL less invasive than a tubal litigation and more likely to be reversible.
Men really do need to start doing their part and stop depending entirely on us to ensure that babies are not created when people don’t want them. Especially now that it looks like Roe might be on the chopping block for good. People don’t get to have it both ways with that - that we have to be entirely responsible for birth control while our rights are systematically being stripped away, severely limiting our options for birth control (because they are coming for that next).
My guess is that some of the pressure in the case of both tubals and vasectomies is liability.
Doctors get sued all the time for dumb reasons. I could see people suing an HCP for not denying or trying to dissuade someone.
I am not aware of how these conversations go in less litigious countries though… So I could be wrong on this assumption.
I’ve a VOIP number and the router’s phone port understands pulse dial. Found by chance because I’ve a touch tone phone that ha switch to pulse dial on the back that i flipped by mistake.
By the way the phone I use was the model that was leased by The Phone Company in the '90s. Because of it’s sturdy and designed to resist to misuse.
I have an 80’s Garfield the Cat phone with a Pulse/Tone switch.
My partner had no problem getting a vasectomy at 30, in Louisiana. I’ve got other child free male friends who have done it.
Meanwhile I’ve know a woman to go through multiple doctors looking for some one to give them a tubal and get told they need to have 4 live births or two cesarians. She already had three kids.
My ex managed to get one when she went in to get the procedure to get rid of an already failed pregnancy, and the doctor probably would not have let her do it if it hadn’t been so clear that going off her antidepressants has been a huge problem and she really couldn’t do that again.
She needed a serious psychiatric condition and an extremely difficult pregnancy to get the procedure without already having kids.
Vasectomy reversal gets less effective over time, so easiest if you change your mind in just a few years, not way down the line.
My partner had a difficult procedure and was told, that it was not likely reversible. Which wasn’t a problem for us. He also tells people thinking about it all the time, look, mine went a bit badly and I have no regrets, statistically your recovery will be no big deal at all.
Christ. We’re not far removed from women being thrown in a asylum for “hysteria” are we?
She’s the only woman I’ve ever know to get a tubal in her early 20’s.
Going off meds can be so rough but so many important meds are problems. Antidepressants, antipsychotics, anticonvulsants, cholesterol meds etc.
Yeah, it’s really difficult. I think that the re-popularization of IUDs has been helpful in giving women a better option for birth control. There’s that at least. But still, if people want to get their tubes tied, that’s their choice and a doctor has no right to deny that to them. Might some people regret it later? Maybe, but given the availability of options like invitro and adoption, it’s not a real problem. It’s one that’s made up by men who think we’re driven by the need to settle down and have kids! Even those of us WITH kids are not that simply driven!
Okay… we were already off topic* but this has gotten ridiculous now…
*NOT a bad thing in my personal opinion; there’s only so much introspective discussion to be had over some vapid woman’s dedication to her ‘rose-colored nostalgia goggles…’