Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/01/07/wayne-county-ny-man-tries-to.html
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I wonder if we can get pictures of his mansion and try to get him to censor those as well… It worked so well for a certain singer, after all…
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Lately, I’ve been watching a lot of movies made in the 1930s, and this sounds like something that would happen in one of them. I can just see Edward Arnold (who played, among other things, bank executives) as this guy.
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Now he has enough for the entire family’s scrapbooks, and then some.
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He also expressed frustration over his repeated failed attempts to shut down a local savings and loan business. His most recent attempt, on Christmas Day, was thwarted when an overwhelming number of local citizens donated money to the business’s owner…
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Wait, not “perps”?
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Talbot Effect: attempt to hide embarrassing event by stealing or buying newspapers in a digital age.
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Sound advice: something you see work in cartoons probably won’t work in real life.
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So he’s not just a drunk driver, but he’s spectacularly stupid as well, and now far more people know it than would have otherwise.
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Upon being informed that most people now get their news online he subsequently attempted to buy up all the local computers and smartphones.
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The guy sure craves publicity . . .
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I honestly can’t fathom why the press is allowed to print mugshots of people that have been arrested but not convicted. Trying to gather all copies of the paper is a fool’s errand, but more power to him anyway.
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Edward Arnold would never do anything as pointlessly stupid as this. He would buy out the newspaper itself overnight, then sell its assets off in pieces thereby making a profit. But Barbara Stanwyck would win in the end.
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No, he would OWN the newspaper - it would be his wayward, rebellious daughter, Jean Arthur, who’d get it into print, with the help of Ralph Bellamy. Let’s see, what minion would he send out to buy the papers…Ian Wolfe? No…hahaha, Nat Pendleton, or Edwin Brophy!
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Let me guess. Trump’s twitter password was “password”.
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I’m going to guess his password is Trump.
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Additional Stupidity Bonus: blaming the trooper for ruining his family. 
Story Bonus: newspaper editor becomes newspaper fairy. 
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Just “trump”. Who has time to hit the shift button?
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