Weaponizing IKEA pencils made fun


Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/03/19/weaponizing-ikea-pencils-made.html


JoergSprave is hardcore - he beat me.


What to weaponize next? On to the IKEA kitchen!


You know this is now going the TAS list and I won’t be able to bring a pencil on the plane.


This reminds me of a theory that I heard of that everything can be turned into a weapon, apparently even IKEA pencils! (I also wonder what IKEA thinks about this xD)


Or, suppose you just have really big hands…


Oh gods I love this man sometimes.






Joerg really has that evil genius act down pat - especially the laugh, but his YouTube channel could be just as effectively titled the “You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out” Channel. I think he even pretended to do that once, a year or two ago.

This phrase always makes me think of a dual-use eating utensil. Like a spork, but with a pencil at one end - so you could jot down notes while eating SpaghettiOs. This would be much faster than writing them using individual letters from alphabet soup or Alpha-Bits cereal. If there were a dip pen or brush at the other end of the spork however you could make your notes using the tomato sauce from the SpaghettiOs as ink.

Apparently in 1830 or so “writing utensil” was briefly the preferred generic expression for tools used for writing, before “writing implement” and “writing instrument” won out in later years. That comparison is based on limited sources however.



He was hit in the head by a ricochet from a slingshot:

(not really)


Sure, for when I’m shopping for pine furniture and need to take on some itty-bitty vampires angry at the lack of pre-fab coffins.

Maybe I should carry a pencil sharpener too for those little wooden dowels. “Ooh, ooh, it’s like a 9mm now…”

I’m going to stop before I make a Got Wood? pun.


Of course you know what font is used for alphabet soup.

Times New Ramen.



Weaponizing IKEA pencils made fun
Made fun? Hey, you had me at “Weaponizing”. And also wishing there was an IKEA near me.


You could also just use it to write “This machine kills facists” on the side of your nyckelharpa


IKEA pencils have a very hard core, around 4H.



There are other kinds of metals you can use as ‘pencils.’ Copperpoint. Silverpoint. Especially if you don’t care about their ability to leave a mark. Could move on to Depleteduraniumpoint.


Can’t tell if you’re playing along or if you got taken in.

When he first posted it (in 2013!) the blood effects looked fake to me, and then in the follow-up video he admitted that it was a publicity stunt to help him raise money for a zombie film he and some friends wanted to make.

I haven’t followed his YouTube channel much recently, I can’t believe this was three and a half years ago though. That’s almost an eternity on the Internet!


Carbon is not a metal, though. Pure graphite is ~6B so the IKEA pencils have loads of clay in them. IKEA pencils don’t have any finish or paint, and they are always really short so they work well in autoclaves, for surgeons who need to write on bones, as the mark won’t be washed off by blood (nor is it toxic at all).