Or maybe they just want to pay their rent. I mean, you know, maybe, it’s not about titillation, but paying the bills.
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Why’s this cartoon douche giving Operation Ivy a bad name?
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I had to look that up; I was not familiar with the band.
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An 80s punk ska band… I’m not a huge fan, but they are lots of fun. Back in the old goth-clubbing days, one of the regular DJs would always spin a ska set and he’d play some Op Ivy usually. Good times!
I just always hate it when douches like the music I do! It’s not FOR them! 
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I know those feels.
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RE: Makeup
I have usually blown it off as uninteresting and pandering to others’ expectations. But over the past couple of years, I have become more interested in makeup, body paint and body art generally. Unfortunately, having arrived here only in my mid 40s, my eyesight has gotten too bad for me to do anything with it. I should have studied more and developed muscle memory for some of this stuff while I could still see.
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PROTIP:
Don’t say
Instead, be polite about it.
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This advice would literally change the world if more people took it to heart.
Well said!
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To be fair, that guy doesn’t look like an MRA. He looks like the baritone sax player in a fair-to-middlin’ ska band, whose look was unfairly coopted by MRAs.
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Just like Richard Spencer tried to coopt Depeche Mode, which, half black Martin Gore was having none of…
They don’t get the good music…
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Who you tellin’?
Hats are my signature accessory and fedoras and trilby’s used to be “my jam…” until they became associated with a very specific archetype of woman-hating douchebag.
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Sounds like her psychopath radar was going off.
Psychopaths can be charming or creepy as all get out. Its interesting our reaction to them, love or hate, no inbetween.
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They’ve made a comeback recently. I see younger people wearing them all the time, and it works.
The black leather trilby cannot be redeemed though.
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I don’t claim to be an expert, but I’m pretty sure that’s what Ru Paul is rockin’.
Uhrhm, to be more explicit, if I heard a heterosexual man refer to “weapons-grade femininity” I would assume that it was part of a war metaphor*, and that he meant someone’s feminine affect struck him with the force and destructive capacity of a weapon. So it’d be fairly personal to that man, like maybe if he had a bigfoot fetish weapons-grade femininity would involve clown shoes.
* stereotypically but not actually, heterosexual men can only reference sex, war or sports by using war, sports or sex metaphors. She is the bomb, take one for the team, putting from the rough, &etc.
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Aww, they’re so cute!
/mom mode
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You don’t have to be a mom to see what a cute couple they are!
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Correct. I said it as a man reflecting on how his own gender behaves. And I’m not being completely serious, if it’s not clear.
That’s number 2 for me, but it’s definitely on the list.
I hear that, thanks for taking the time to answer an uncomfortable question.[quote=“mike.jane, post:4, topic:101899”]
Well really it starts innocently and dumb enough with the female bartenders and waitresses, who know exactly how to press their customers buttons for maximum tip (while really only being average on the whole food-and-drinks-carrying). What do you have to do? Well, a slim cut top will do, nice booty jeans too, skirt can do of course. Then, pretend your male customers are just so damn interesting and charming, little wink here, little squeeze (from her) there. Innocent fun, and yes, they know, she knows too, and yet we choose to not acknowledge it and insist it’s really just tip for a job well done.
[/quote]
A lot of people have already commented on this, I’m sorry I didn’t reply earlier, but I had to do some work.
This is really interesting stuff to me, because I think a lot of it is contingent on perspective. What one person would consider to be charged or deliberate button pushing might be completely innocuous to another. “Booty jeans” and slim cut shirts are a good example. Most women’s shirts are slim cut, even children’s shirts are cut slimmer for girls, oddly enough. Almost all ladies’ jeans are part lycra, so they are tighter through the hips and thighs. So while a woman might be aware that she is wearing jeans that fit well, she probably wouldn’t think of them as “weaponized booty jeans”. (Great name for a band 
).
There’s no question that people in service jobs are friendly. Having worked in the service industry myself, I can tell you that anything less is frowned upon by management. Last week I went to an In and Out Burger, and the kid at the counter greeted each person with of the enthusiasm of a televangelist! So I have to wonder if female bartenders and waitstaff really think of themselves as taking advantage of you, or if they are just trying to meet customer service standards. Obviously giving patrons the stinkeye won’t get anyone in the service industry too far.[quote=“mike.jane, post:4, topic:101899”]
Then there are those who have successfully weaponized the dove-eyes thing. Truly, if you’re good at it, and also have pretty eyes to begin with and good mascara skills, you can ask for the dumbest biggest favours. There’s a good chance suckers like me will still volunteer. And yes, one level of the brain says that this is a rouse, and yet it doesn’t really matter as those primal buttons being pushed reach so deep.
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Which primal buttons? I have killer mascara skills, and really nice eyes. If I have access to primal power, I want to know more![quote=“mike.jane, post:4, topic:101899”]
F., and this one gets worse, too. If something I did could carry the possibility of making these women cry, they (they were 2 in my personal history) would preemptively put on thickly the least water resistant eye make-up; yeah, to really drive home the hurt.
Even thinking about it after all these years makes me uncomfortable.
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Hmm. It is uncomfortable to sit with someone who is in emotional pain, especially if you’re the on who caused it, and you’re not sure what to do. Still, crying is a natural response to emotional pain, and it’s hard to cry on command. Have you ever tried?
I can say for certain that most women don’t keep a “crying makeup bag” around, that shit is too expensive. So that’s a projection of your own ideas of their motives.[quote=“mike.jane, post:4, topic:101899”]
wait, is it ‘dove eyes’, or ‘doe eyes’? Both good? That there are birds involved here seems not right.
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Doe eyes! I think other people might say “puppy dog eyes”.
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This is the way I see it.
Women, or men really can’t make you feel anything. There are only their actions, appearance, etc, and our thoughts and reactions to those things.
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I can dig that. I guess I just see that as another way of making someone else responsible for feelings that belong to the feeler. My fetish for ginger beards and red noses doesn’t make you manipulative.
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