A thread for -splainin`
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Actually,
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Well, actually…
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For National Poetry Month, a poem built on 'splain verse…
Differences of Opinion – Wendy Cope
He tells her that the Earth is flat -
He knows the facts, and that is that.
In altercations fierce and long
She tries her best to prove him wrong.
But he has learned to argue well.
He calls her arguments unsound
And often asks her not to yell.
She cannot win. He stands his ground.
The planet goes on being round.
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Q: Where does a mansplainer get his water?
A: From a _____, ______.
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ACT II
Lee: “Well…”
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[bitter laugh]
[/bitter laugh]?
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Could be handy these days…
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I remember a children’s book I read where the protagonist, a young boy, didn’t trust the word ‘actually’ because it implied someone was lying.
Though not strictly true, its a handy rule of thumb that’s stuck with me for nearly five decades.
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Interesting. Is “someone” the person using it? Or is it supposed to be that the implication of its user is that someone else is lying?
My brain often gets too literal about another one: “Honestly, . . .” I don’t use it, and I often have to stop myself from saying to those who do, “Wait, ‘honestly’? So up to this point you’ve been lying?” 
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I think there’s a legitimate use for “honestly” in the sense of “I’m going to admit something that I haven’t mentioned up to now” or “I’m going to give you my real opinion without sugar-coating it”.
I often run into people, though, who use “frankly”, “to be honest”, “not gonna lie” etc. as verbal tics devoid of meaning.
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Yep, that’s why I don’t reply with the comebacks that my overly literal brain wants to reply with.
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From memory, it was the protagonist’s step-mother that was using the ‘actually’, and the protagonist felt it implied she was being dishonest or manipulative.
I think it can imply either of those things, and possibly more.
But from the perspective of the child on the recieving end of the ‘actually’, they are about to have their beliefs cast into doubt in any case, and this introduces uncertainty and anxiety.
That literally makes my head explode!
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Well, thanks for reminding me of Chalker’s enjoyable ‘Well of Souls’ series!
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