What coffee does to your body


[Read the post]



Hang on…let me go get my double espresso so I can sit down and read this…


It’d be nice for a standard definition of cup here, most people will assume their mug is a cup of coffee but it’s probably closer to 2 or 2.5 “cups”. I think my coffee maker defines a cup as 5 oz of coffee.


Imperial Standard Metric Twenty-Foot Equivalent Unit cups, eh? I think I have the same model.


Holy crap… now I want to write a short story about all the coffee in the world disappearing one day. Can you imagine the dystopia that would cause?


TFA didn’t mention how the morning cup revs up the intestines.


I think the standard measure for a cup of joe is 6oz or about 2/3 full for the mug I have at work. So a tall drip a McCoffebucks is 2 doses of caffeine.


The funny thing is how “largely unregulated” can be so easily mistaken for “safe”. I mean, if washing down three or four Vivarin with Jolt Cola were bad for you there’d be warnings and stuff. Right, teenage me?


I suspect that it would be a very good time to be a producer of one of the less scary amphetamine-family compounds. Everyone from the sinister corporate puppetmasters at ALEC and the US Chamber of Commerce to disaffected student anarcho-syndicalists would get behind a hasty reclassification of that one once the crash hit.


There’re always Guarnara, tea, and other caffeine making plants.


But what if it was caffeine that disappeared, entirely… ?


“If Coffee did not exist, it would be necessary to invent it”


Then I would have to kill the responsible parties and we don’t want that to happen do we?


Well, let’s just say it’s one of those things, that has no explanation… We wake up one day, with no caffeine on earth… Can you imagine the riots? [ETA: I watched children of men this weekend, so am kind of in a dystopian mood here.]


A world without caffeine isn’t a dystopia. A world where your employer provides free, mildly addictive drugs to make you work harder is a more proper definition of dystopia.


I can imagine the quiet as we all hide in dark rooms till the withdrawal migraines go away. Oh I have been there and that is a big reason I limit myself to 2 cups of regular coffee a day.


A regular zombie snoozpocalypse.


So what do employers replace caffeine with? [ETA] Also, isn’t coffee then, something like sugar, in that it makes the current capitalist system possible and has become nearly a necessity for making it work? It’s both a commodity and a lubricant for the capitalist machine?

Plus, isn’t also intimately connected with the place of sugar in our modern consuming habits?