Come in!
9 Likes
Why did the nun cross the road?
You try crossing yourself after getting hit by a bus!
6 Likes
4 Likes
Why did Einstein cross the road?
Einstein didn’t cross the road, the road crossed Einstein
3 Likes
Humongous…
4 Likes
1 Like
So. Isn’t anyone going to reply, “Humongous who?” Don’t leave me hanging. Help a bro’ out!
4 Likes
So, I went to the dentist and he said "Say aaaaaaah."
I said "why?"
He said “My dog’s just died.”
5 Likes
Dad: “How do you pronounce [spelling it] t_o?”
Child (proud of her newly-won reading and spelling skills): “To”
Dad: “How do you pronounce t_o_o?”
Child: “Too.”
Dad: How do you pronounce t_w_o?
Child: “Two.”
Dad: “What’s the second day of the week?”
Child (triumphantly avoiding the obvious trap): “TEWsday”
Dad: “No, Monday.”
7 Likes
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, “Olive or twist?”
11 Likes
Pavlov is having a drink in a bar, when the phone rings.
He leaps up, and dashes for the door, shouting “Oh no, I forgot to feed the dogs!”
22 Likes
Where are average things built?
In the satisfactory.
13 Likes
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
'ell if I know.
8 Likes
Why did the mustard cross the road?
To ketchup with the mayo.
6 Likes
Did you hear about the cross-eyed schoolteacher?
He couldn’t control his pupils.
6 Likes
Did you hear about my friend who worked at the eyeglasses factory? He fell into the lens-grinding machine and made a sorry spectacle of himself.
Did you hear about the two bald headed men who put their heads together and made an ass of themselves?
6 Likes
Fine … Humongous who?
4 Likes
Did you hear about the butcher who backed into his meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
8 Likes
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
6 Likes
I once farted in an echo chamber. I never heard the end of it.
8 Likes
