What's E.T. short for?


awww, it's nice to know we do have something in common. :wink:


I once asked a chatbot, "which came first, the chicken or the egg?"

The chatbot replied:

"It was the rooster".


Seriously though, I still don't know:


What do they study in pirate school?
The three Arrs…

What did the dyslexic existentialist ancient egyptian pirate do?
Stayed up all night wondering if there was Ar.

What is a cannibal Pirate’s favorite lunch?
A Bacon Lettuce and Two-Matey Sandwich.

How did the pirate quit smoking?
He used the patch.

What has two eyes, two legs, and two noses?
Two pirates.


To the guy who invented zero: thanks for nothing.


A man walks into a bar and notices a cat and a dog sitting at a table playing chess. Not being something one sees every day he watches from the bar. After awhile the dog looks up at the clock and says, "Oh no I didn't realize the time. sorry I really need to get going" and leaves. This stuns the man completely he finishes his drink and asks for another and says to the bartender, "That dog can talk." The bartender replies, "Mister I don't know if you need more to drink dogs don't talk". The man replies after downing the drink, "But over there, playing chess with the cat, the dog just talked and got up and left". The bartender then says, "Buddy dogs can't talk, It's the damn cat he's a ventriloquist."


Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

The first muffin says to the second muffin, "Gosh, it's getting hot in here."

The second muffin says, "Holy crap, a talking muffin!"


Humungous-t us can create a good knock-knock joke?


That's part of the charm of cats!


How much was the pirate selling corn for?

A buck-an-ear.


What's brown and sticky?
A stick.


This is still the Platonic Ideal of the Dad-joke.


I prefer "long and brown and sticky," but to each their own.


A joke everyone loves, in only 4 (plus 2) words? Come on, dude....why mess with perfection? :wink:



This is what I do...


Dammit. Usually Discourse fixes that automatically after five minutes. It should be better now.


Does it show up in your preview?

If it does for me, I just find another gif that doesn't do that.


I'm behind some pretty strict proxies. Most of the gif websites show still images when displayed in Google, but an X when I try to click through to the actual image.

I see an X regardless of whether it works or not, so I just assume it works until I'm told it doesn't. Generally, whether it works initially or not, Discourse grabs the file to store locally and re-adjusts the proportions automatically after five minutes (at which point I can see it and know whether or not it worked).

Or I can check on my phone, but my phone is currently in the shop.


Same here. Occasionally I'll find a gif I like, but the proxies block it as inappropriate :confused: Annoying, but still ultimately workable. Your proxies must behave differently than mine.