Danny Butterman: Have you ever seen Point Break?
Nicholas Angel: No.
Danny Butterman: Amazing bit in Point Break where they jump over fences.
Nicholas Angel: Is there now.
Danny Butterman: Patrick Swayze has just robbed this bank, and Keanu Reeves is chasin’ him through peoples’ gardens, and then he goes to shoot Swayze but he can’t because he loves him so much and he’s firin’ his gun up in the air and he’s like ‘ahhh!’
Nicholas Angel: Yep.
That’s the Darth Vader -esque bad guy, who looks appropriately irritated to be on the poster. As a kid, I was baffled by the part where the fake Han Solo sticks his hand up a robot-girl’s ass after gagging her.
Oh I so want to see this even more now.
full disclosure re: Point Break, I grew up in Huntington Beach so their sad attempts at surfer-like banter viscerally hurt.
Come to think of it, the recent Point Break remake was pretty damn awful. So bad I had completely forgot about it up until now.
Its biggest offense to me was that it took what should have been these amazing adrenaline filled action sequences – things that were not special effects but crazy ass things that were actually done by real people – and somehow made them boring.
…and I believe it!
In the future on a planet named Trinia, human slaves have lived underground for millennia mining crystals for a “god” named Zygon
If sounds like more than a Star Wars rip-off. It sounds like they crossed Star Wars with Battlefield Earth.
i triiied to watch it. i really did try. it was just… just…
i would rather watch seven hours of grade school choir rehearsals. sober.
Roger Ebert said much the same thing of Battlefield Earth:
“Battlefield Earth” is like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time. It’s not merely bad; it’s unpleasant in a hostile way.
I still refuse to believe that the movie was worse than the book.
In my house, we had to put a warning label on it. Every Christmas, someone would pull it out and say YAY BAD MOVIE NIGHT!! but besides a couple of yuks (Chewbacca’s grandpa watching Wookiee porn), it’s so godawful boring and corny that we just ended up resenting it angrily and/or falling asleep.
Yup. I hadn’t seen it since it originally aired, so I tried watching it on YouTube about six months ago. Couldn’t finish it. The musical numbers, god…
Based on the first few minutes, I’d say Olympus Has Fallen might be a contender.
I liked it because it was stupid and I expected it to be stupid going in. I thought the kid was totally unnecessary and didn’t add to the tension at all. Not half as annoying as the kid in the craptastic Bruce Willis vehicle, Hostage. Holy shit did that kid grate on my nerves.
I’ve never done this before, but I’m going to do it, here and now. I think it’s necessary, both for my conscience and to correct the historical record.
I liked TPM. Before you explode into a furious rage of righteous indignation, let me explain. I was twelve (maybe thirteen?) when I saw it with my friends. Prior to this, I had never seen a Star Wars movie. My expectations were nil. I thought it was as good a movie as something like X-Men. Not the best movie I’d ever seen, but it was good.
It wasn’t until much later, after AotC and RotS came out that I finally watched the original trilogy at the insistence of my then girlfriend. We watched them in (narrative) chronological order, from Episode I to VI. That experience opened my eyes and only then did I start to see the glaring plot holes, the horrendous dialogue, the terrible pacing, and the shitty characters. Not because they weren’t always there, but because the original trilogy raised my standards (also because my girlfriend made sure we fast forwarded through all of the new scenes Lucas inserted). Suddenly I understood that Star Wars was about deep myth and a tale of awakening, darkness, and betrayal. That being said, the Ewoks and Jar-Jar do belong on roughly the same level of badness. It’s just that Ewoks were in a better movie.
So my evaluation of the prequels is that they weren’t bad-bad. They were at worst mediocre. What’s bad about them is that they would have made great Star Wars fan-fiction. They sucked only because the source material was so much better. I think the new, mercifully lens-flare-less, movies are a move in the right direction, and are trying to live up to the original monomyth roots of the original series.
The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman.
Makes Plan9 look like high art.
Weekend at Bernie’s 2
He was a big part of the suckiness in my book. I guess our mileage varied. 
But this movie was one of the funniest MST3Ks ever made!
