What's the *worst* movie you've ever seen?

Did the movie have a human villain who was evil simply because he was born with a deformity that made him walk with a limp?

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I went into that expecting more or less a 2 hour music video, so I wasn’t disappointed by that trainwreck. Probably should not have paid full price for it but I was young and had the disposable income for it then.

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There are some movies so bad you remember them. Others so bad you just forget them. Even Cowgirls Get the Blues is the latter. I’ve read and liked every Tom Robbins novel, so I was hopeful, then annoyed, then disappointed, then disillusioned. Then it vanished almost entirely from recollection.

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“Is it better than the worst thing I’ve ever seen? No. Well, let’s do it,” is probably not the optimal metric. I can’t imagine anything worse than The Glacier Fox, but still, even if Battlefield Earth is better, I’m still going to skip it.

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It was the 1950s. Alien space ships were made from wood.

(If you go back to the original Roswell news story - stripping away all the mythology added later - the locals were able to gather up bits of whatever crashed after the military cleared out the main wreckage. Which is how one of the few things we know for certain about the Roswell UFO is that it was made from wood, canvas and rubber.)

(On the other hand the Atlas IIAS launcher, used up to 2004, had structural components machined out of Fir, a type of wood governed by a Mil Spec.)

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I loved that book, and hated that movie. And, I also forgot about it, because I had to click the link to recall the movie at all.

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The only reason I remembered it at all is I was trying to find Point Break on imdb (which was really, really bad, but so bad I would happily rewatch it), and it showed up as a Keanu movie.

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I keep ALMOST watching that movie, because I loved the book and keep thinking “how can a movie version with Uma Thurman be that bad?” But friends keep telling me “dude. no. it’s so bad.” So I think I’ll just imagine a better version, as well as my headcanon version of Another Roadside Attraction the Movie starring Joanna Newsom.

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Wait - you’re slagging off the original Point Break?

Get you gone. You are dead to me.

I have not yet seen this (and hopefully never will)

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It’s amazingly what it is. I’d be way into to hitting to a Point Break Live show if I were able.

@nimelennar remembers way more about the plot than I do. The thing I remember best is that the aliens are supposed to be super tall and imposing, but are just people wearing big platform boots.

And ohhhhh goodness, I’ve remembered something worse. I very rarely stop watching a movie (have never walked out of a theater), just as I rarely stop reading a book; I guess I’m always hopeful that I’ll find something good before the end. But I could only watch ten or fifteen minutes of Blues Brothers 2000. I love The Blues Brothers so, so much, and I wasn’t really expecting the sequel to come anywhere close, but . . . ugh.

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Well, everyone has their own metric. Also, I didn’t pay for either movie. I rarely go to an actual movie theater, so almost all of what I watch is on subscription. This way, I don’t get buyer’s remorse and I think it helps to keep my expectations very low.:relieved:

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Roger Ebert said it best in his review:

‘‘Blues Brothers 2000’’ has a lot of good music in it. It would have had more if they’d left out the story, which would have been an excellent idea.
[…]
It’s said that the climactic sequence of ‘‘BB2000,’’ a talent contest with many legendary musicians (even an ill-at-ease Eric Clapton), was a legendary jam session. No doubt. I’d love to see it as a concert film. With no chase scenes and no little kids

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Simon Abrams recently wrote, “‘The Asian Connection’ is the best kind of bad movie, the kind that makes you wonder about its glaring inadequacies, like a puzzle that must be solved.” There are so many different kinds of them, aren’t there?

Night Train to Mundo Fine, aka Red Zone Cuba, occupies spot #36 on the IMDB Bottom 100. It curiously strains what may conceivably be titled a “movie”. It has a beginning, and an ending, and there are characters who do things, and – well, that’s about it. It is remarkable in its ineptitude. I was prompted to watch the MST3K version, in which Crow astutely remarks, “See, the movie has finally thrown up its hands and said ‘I just don’t know.’!”

But I still have to go with The Room, because while Red Zone Cuba is wholly inept, The Room feels like the deliberate, sincere product of a deeply disturbed mind somehow incapable of coming to grasp with reality – a sort of existential cautionary tale.

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Many opinions on what constitutes a bad film. For me, I don’t think you can fairly pick a film that was made to be intentionally bad or overly low budget unless there’s an extenuating circumstance.

As it happens, I have one with such an extenuating circumstance, which was a movie that was made with the sole purpose of tricking you into buying the DVD because you were confused on what movie it was that you were buying.

So, some back story, 2005 saw the release of a big budget adaptation of War of the Worlds with Tom Cruise. There was another British film that was a more faithful Victorian adaptation which caught wind of that movie being made, and decided to fly under the radar until they could beat that film to market with a trailer. I guess they figured that otherwise, their film would get slaughtered. This seemed pretty interesting, if also low budget, and I was determined to track down a copy.

Enter the third film, titled the same as the second, produced by a film company that specializes in producing films that try to get you to think you’re buying a much larger budget film (but then discover you didn’t).

I have seen worse films, since my college friends and I used to have a “Culture Night” where we drank beer and watched terrible movies. But they were always festively bad and enjoyable. Like, “Cool as Ice”, “Breakin’ 2: The Electric Boogaloo” or “Gigli”. This 2005 movie was terrible mixed with me being totally pissed that I bought the wrong movie on DVD, even though it cost $5. So for me, it wins the award.

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Are we there yet?

Walked out after 10 minutes.

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I actually kind of liked Kiss of Death. Yeah, it was a pretty terrible film but Nic Cage made it watchable for me.

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I should mention that amongst all the Rifftrax/MST3K/Cinematic Titanic films that are made palatable/funny with riffed commentary, there’s one that I’ve seen that’s so amazingly bad in a wonderful way that I’d happily watch it again all by itself: Miami Connection, the story of a taekwondo rock band called Dragon Sound (who are all orphans) and their fight against a motorcycle ninja drug gang.

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Oh yes Miami Connection! I missed the midnight showing at the local jewelbox theater I love but found a DVD at the library later. It is pure cheesy 80s awesome fun. Also a film made with love by guys getting together on weekends to make a movie.

The folks at Vice sent the guy who accidentally rediscovered Miami Connection down to Florida to find its star and director, Y K Kim, to see how he’s doing these days. Turns out he’s amazingly successful as a taekwondo instructor and amazed at the reappearance of the movie that almost destroyed his life.

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