When snakes attack at Lowe's


#1

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#2

Dangerous little pit vipers but luckily not as venomous as others like the cotton mouth and usually not very aggressive either. They will even give you a dry warning bite sometimes instead of injecting you since they know they can’t eat you. I hope this person is OK.


#3

They’re just hiding out from the BadgerBadgerBadger (which never shops at Lowe’s).


#4

I remembered those other monsters of old, first reported by Herodotus in the fifth century bc: vicious flying snakes that guarded the frankincense groves…
Musallam was ready to go back to Hasik. I said that I would explore further.
“Watch out for snakes,” he warned.
I remembered Herodotus. “Not flying ones…?”
"Yes. They jump out of the samur trees."
Herodotus, I thought, I shall always give you the benefit of the doubt.

–from Scents of Place: Frankincense in Oman by Tim Mackintosh-Smith


#5

Yes, Lowe’s and snakes go together like chicken and waffles. Let us all take a moment to remember Austin Cobra:
Austin monocled cobra’s demise


#6

COBRA Commander’s plan for destroying the national economy by putting snakes in home improvement stores was undone by a poor choice of cheap, low cut independent contractors.


#7

Quick google shows that North Carolina is within the range of the copperhead. Wouldn’t that make it a “this could happen in this state” rather than in any store that sells trees?


#8

Indeed, the climate at my local Lowes is highly inhospitable to all venomous snakes, but the Eastern Massasauga Rattler.


#9

Or any state that receives a shipment of trees from North Carolina, or any other Southern state.

Ve hev vaysssss…


#10

Yeah, living up here in the mountains of NC my friend gave me a heads up about a copperhead hanging out in one of the dog areas of my apartment complex just last week. I’ve been trying to keep an eye out and avoid pine straw (really easy to miss them in there) since then, since I know they’re getting active.


#11

Dan’t you folks see that GOD is pissed at North Carolina for passing the bathroom bill? Taste the wrath of an angry god, North Carolina!!!


#12

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