When you're trying to stab that last cherry tomato in your salad

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/04/16/when-youre-trying-to-stab-th.html

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The only salad task that’s harder is trying to stab a crouton with the plastic fork.

It’s easier to catch flies with chopsticks!

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This is why god gave us fingers

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You never stab a crouton, you try to slowly sink it in, like that one dude with a bayonet on Saving Private Ryan.

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Small red ball, big red ball – trouble either way:

Toledo giant red ball incident

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I think that was a combat knife, not a bayonet:

Hell of a scene, it left me disquieted.

Update: It looks like a combat knife to me, but a fandom wiki entry reads:

“Mellish [the American soldier] is eventually killed after a violent fight with the [German] soldier, who stabs him in the chest with his own bayonet.”

Private Mellish is played by Adam “The Hebrew Hammer” Goldberg.

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I heard a comedian point out a while back that the process of eating a salad is really one of re-building the the dish from its component parts, one bite at a time.

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Yeah, I didn’t want to look up the scene…

But since you did - it is a bayonet. You can see the little ring for the barrel to slip through on the guard.

The common US ones were the various versions of the 1905 Bayonet.

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I lost a chopstick battle with an oily cherry tomato.

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My 18 month old baby can’t say much, but she does say “ball!” and that means “I want a cherry tomato”. She then gives them the Bunnicula treatment and throws them on the floor.

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I looked up “Bunnicula”, fearing that it meant something like “tiny carbuncles”.

Thank goodness it only means “vampire bunny”!

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“What I was doing wearing a salad, I’ll never know.”

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