"Where is this phantom poo?" Park inspector alleging poocrime refuses to disclose location of poo


That fella is really full of it!


I’ve been accused of not picking up poo by people who don’t understand that female dogs squat to pee.


By the time they find it, it will be fertilizing the grass.

…Still better than anything on reality TV, though.

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Yup i get that as well. These are the same people that when I tell them I keep chickens can’t understand why hens don’t need a cock to lay eggs.

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Forward this video to anyone who claims that law enforcement can be trusted with limitless surveillance capabilities…


If these people are so concerned about feces, why isn’t the “enforcement officer” scooping up all the rabbit and pigeon poo in the park?

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She should be glad she wasn’t in the US. She would have been tased repeatedly and sent to prison for obstruction and resisting arrest (assuming she wasn’t just shot in the back).


If you can’t find the shit, you must acquit.


To be fair, rabbit and pigeon poo is MUCH smaller than dog poo.

Edit: goose shit, on the other hand, is a fucking NIGHTMARE.

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Monty Python could not have done better…are you sure this isn’t just another episode as yet unaired. OMG a poo patrol

“non-compliance of female” I think this utterance is probably telling, and can provide some insight into the psychology of the individual involved.


I have been accused of animal abuse for owning a lurcher. Apparently, it was ‘starving’. No, it’s a fucking lurcher. They’re made like that. Their ribs stick out, and they will steal and eat anything. Fortunately, it was a member of the public, not a plastic plod (it was also in the halcyon, pre-Blunkett days, so they hadn’t been invented yet), so I just told him very loudly, and extremely close to his nose to fuck off. Didn’t stop the daft bugger coming back and plopping two pounds of steak down in front of a very appreciative lurcher, who was not helping with it’s sad-eyed gratitude routine. Damn dog spent the next two days laying on it’s back farting and complaining about it’s belly. Por-tip: don’t get a lurcher, they’re jerks.

Geese are a fucking nightmare…

Everybody was so polite! Let’s all see if we can find an equivalent interaction on American soil.

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Viz Comic’s bottom Inspectors strip turns out to have been weirdly accurate…

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if you want to see an a**hole, give someone a small amount of authority over others.

I guess Charles Stross wasn’t too far off with the dog poo enforcement drones in Rule 34.

I’ve gone MAD with my moderate amount of power!

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