Why are there no bearded astronauts?

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I’ve always been surprised by how many long-haired astronauts there are. Even if NASA doesn’t have an official position, It seems like something that would drive the crew nuts, in an environment where showers are limited gravity feeble; but static fully operational.

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I’m sure it has nothing to do with the military culture at NASA.

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This brings to mind Gordon R. Dickson’s book Secret Under The Sea. In the distant future of 2013 divers can wear tiny atom-powered oxygen masks. But Vandals–a luddite group opposed to scientific advancement–are forced to travel in submarines or wear bulky diving suits because of the beards they wear.

That makes it difficult for them to carry out their plans to undermine the underwater cultivation of Martian plants and animals.

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The vacuum abhors a hipster.

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Because men cannot grow beards in space. If you have a beard, you are an alien and must be sent to space jail.

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Oh, beard test. I could have sworn he said “blood test”.

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Can you fart in space? If not, I’m not going.

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Damn you, space hipsters!

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I recall my dad having to shave off his beard in 1971 so he could fly on a NASA Learjet with a solar telescope in it, to take a lot of spectral data of the sun. Paper here. Something about the oxygen mask not fitting over all that hair.


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Not only is farting in a spacesuit is generally unadvisable, there’s only so many times you can blame Laika before the excuse becomes incredulous.

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Came here to post this. Happy to have been beaten to the punch.

You certainly can, scrubbers in the suits filter out carbon dioxide and hydrogen sulfide. I literally just finished Mary Roach’s excellent Gulp, dealing with everything along the alimentary duct.

Also: http://io9.gizmodo.com/5876281/most-important-scientific-study-ever-what-about-farting-astronauts

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Lovely, when’s blast off.

Pun intended…

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I don’t wear one at times becuse I need to be able to put on a full face respirator for hazmat. Sure, there are workarounds, but a nice seal around your nose and mouth is wonderful to have in some atmospheres. That was my assumption.

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