This commercial might make me willing to re-try Olive Garden.
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I suppose s/he is. But I can relate too.
Using the word ‘first date’ typically hints at the intention of meeting up again for future dates. A shitty thing to say if you are just after a hook up but consider yourself too classy to say so.
I guess the article is less about Olive Garden and more a tongue in cheek reflection on the author’s own inability to face up to false expectations, or how an aversion to risk is what keeps Olive Garden up and running. There seem to be quite a few paeans to mediocrity on that site that read like the authors are actually bemoaning their own lack of standards.
I guess that’s what counts for humour there: supposedly tongue in cheek stuff that reveals more than the author actually intended. As long as it’s one or two, then cool. But it can get repetitive and formulaic.
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So can I, as one of the perpetually single; no one likes having their time wasted needlessly. Nevertheless, just assuming ill intent on the author’s part seems like some psychological projection.
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Well in the author’s own words:
I’m not looking to settle down with any of the women I bring to Olive Garden. In fact, I know that after we make out in the parking lot or hook up at her apartment, I’ll never see her again.
I have to agree with @CoffeeStar that sounds more like “someone looking for a quick hookup with a stranger” than “someone looking to test the compatibility of a person they might be interested in dating.”
Which is fine if that’s what both people are after, I suppose. But why call it a “first date” if it’s someone you have no intention of seeing again?
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Hopefully not with the intentional questioning of the author’s gender, which is not an unknown.
O_o
Personally, I don’t claim to know the author’s intent; whether she’s actually looking for a hookup, or if she just wrote the article as a humorous bit.
I don’t deign to judge her for calling the initial meetings “first dates,” no matter what her actual intent may be.
Because as a woman in this society, I am well aware of how carefully we females have to tread the line of “social respectability,” as defined by the often-misogynistic patriarchy.
It’s not at all uncommon for women who are straightforward and upfront about their sexual appetites and/or habits to be unfairly villainized and demonized, even by other women.
It seems to me that no one is forcing the women she’s meeting up with to accept her invitation to the OG; and if they do choose to accept, there’s no implied “guarantee” of sex… or of a second date, or even an eventual ‘meaningful relationship…’ because that’s just not how it works.
When it comes to human behavior, there are no guarantees; and that goes double for the dating pool.
You either take your chances and ‘see what happens,’ or you don’t.
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“First”, “Last”, whatever, let’s not get hung up on the details! 
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Woe betide the woman who pens on the internet a short snarky self-deprecating account of her dating life! /s
Seriously folks, not everyone is looking to set up housekeeping at every phase of their life. And those who just want to enjoy a little romantic company that may or may not result in some consensual canoodling or shag are not automatically misrepresenting themselves just because certain people hold a certain set of consuetudes about what are socially acceptable reasons for asking someone on a date, first, last or indeterminate.
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Seattle used to have (or it may) a breakfast place called Pancake Haus.
I never got to go there, but the in-joke in our group was that it was the home of the Uberbreakfast.
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There’s a Pancake Haus in Shoreline. They always seem to have an absurd wait time. Like 45 minutes for a party of four after ordering.
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Muesli über alles! Except leberkäse…muesli unter leberkässemmel. 
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Butterbrezn! Frühstück der Pendler, oida!
Leberkässemmel is more of a lunch thing. Breakfast is a Butterbrezn. But of course, if you habe the time, have a nice Weisswurstfrüshstück. With sweet brown mustard and Weissbier, of course.
Which is all going even further adrift from the cute little article which I repeat is less a hymn to Olive Garden and more a self deprecating look at the sort of people who bring their dates there for the first date. Which, if I read it again, does remind me of Dave Barry when he was funny.
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I am surprised you can get a pizza in Boron.
Nobody doesn’t like molten Boron
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The farthest west I have found a WaffleHouse was in Tucson.
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That is still 1,500 miles away from me.
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As I said; “so-called pizza”. A few native Californians and I (the out-of-stater), one day went to the one remaining pizzeria there. (We were working nearby.) As soon as I walked in and saw how the pizzas were being made, I had my doubts. I kid you not: I took one bite of the soggy, floppy thing then offered the remains to one of the chowhounds in our group. The incident only reinforced what I already knew about CA pizzas (in general) and the natives who enjoy them.
The one good restaurant in Boron was Domingo’s; it served excellent Mexican food. They closed up awhile back, then reopened, although I have yet to back there after that reopening; I heard that the food has suffered under new management. The original manager used to treat returning Space Shuttle astronauts to free meals upon their return. (The Shuttle used to land at Edwards AFB nearby.) The walls of the place were festooned with photos and such given to the owner by the pilots who rewarded him with a ride in one of the T-38 Talon trainers! Lucky bastard.
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Anyone in Chicago looking for good thin-crust pizza should try Gino’s North (not affiliated with the popular downtown eatery which has received countless violations from the health department), just off the Granville stop on the Red Line.
Pizzas baked by Peggy, last I frequented the place, for at least 20 years.
I would walk two blocks to the Argyle stop, ride 4 stops to Granville, and take a pizza back home because it was that good.
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