Why it's a bad idea to watch porn in the same room as your parrot


#1

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#2

It’s fake.


#3

This sounds 'shopped. I can tell because of the pixels and because of having heard quite a few 'shops in my time.

Waitaminute…


#4

I believe there was an Arabic saying about not keeping parrots in the bedroom…


#5

wow. I was trying to remember something something about a parrot-related news story and I stumbled across the TV tropes entry for parrots. I had no idea they were such an incredibly commonly used trope


#6

Most porn is.


#7

That parrot is exhibiting mating behavior (and should be stopped!). Essentially, the parrot is masturbating using the edge of the hand. In the case of my bird friend, this will be alternated with regurgitation. The beak is open - this could be regurgitation, or it could be for the normal “sexy-times” vocalizations. (But remember that parrots don’t really have to open their beaks to speak.)

Parrots do make odd noises when they do this - my Eclectus squeaks like a door, makes lazer gun noises, and sort of half-squawks, along with what some people call “panting” but really sounds like a sneeze. I really think the porn audio was added later. There is no reason for the bird to have associated human sex sounds with parrot sexy-times.


#8

I was going to ask, why is it moving like that? Now i know.


#9

It should surprise no one that Dan Savage has somehow managed to deal with this topic:


#10

Yup. Speaking as the caretaker of a talking parrot – because no one really “owns” a parrot – I clicked through to the video and after the bird carried on for more than a few seconds, first word to mind was “Fake!”


#11

The bird is obviously having fun, but the audio formant structure sounds a lot more like a pitch-shifted human, to my ears.


#12

Sadly, he/she isn’t having fun… companion parrots get incredibly sexually frustrated and allowing them to do this makes it worse. They can’t “get off”. In the spring my little guy gets two or three hormone injections to suppress his desire. First appointment is next week!


#13

That’s unfortunate. When you described this as masturbating I assumed that the parrot might feel better.


#14

Audio obviously doesn’t match up with the bird’s movements. As the bird moves/turns closer/towards the microphone it should get louder, and when it moves/turns away, quieter. It doesn’t seem to be doing so properly from what I could tell.


#15

Slow news day… eh?

Would have thought BB would pass on posting this horribly made video.


#16

The audio is very clearly pitch/time shifted, which is apparent in the “slicing” artifacts that make what was originally a continuous signal sound “granular” or like speaking into a spinning fanblade.

There’s also a lot of DCT noise in the audio, which I chalk up to it being transcoded lossily numerous times, but can also be very accentuated by time/pitch shifting.

I haven’t listened to enough talking parrots to say anything about the formants or harmonic series though.


#17

#18

You know better.


#19

…and so the parrot says, “Fine, fine, I’ll stop swearing! Just tell me one thing. What’d the turkey do?”


#20

Yeah, even with the pitch-shift there’s far too much bass left in the audio for a parrot to reproduce with its tiny vocal cords. Parrots are tweeters, not woofers.