Why Violet Beauregarde should have succeeded Wonka


#1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/12/04/why-violet-beauregarde-should.html


#2

To grow the Wonka business Violet would’ve been the better choice if you want someone that’s less empathetic. The local economy wasn’t doing well as seen by the conditions the neighborhood Charlie grew up at, and by the imposing presence the Wonka factory had and its fixers who would spy on consumers. I see Violet and Wonka as both people who don’t really give a damn.

Charlie on the other hand would be a good pick if you wanted the business have a conscience. Would the company succeed long term? Maybe, Charlie’s the target demographic too so he’d know what other kids are into though he’d lack the ability to make shrewd business decisions Violet might make.


#3

Typical. Wonka’s loyal Oompa Loompa workers don’t even get a consideration despite their years of experience and their ability to sing in harmony.


#4

The town was depressed because it was built around one company, and that company had effectively closed down and moved overseas, even though they were technically still in the city. The town had probably given the factory massive tax breaks in order to get the jobs and got totally screwed over when he went and hired some native scabs from a fictional country.

If Wonka had given his factory to Violet it would have immediately become yet another cog in the giant nut industry where it would have been mismanaged until it was a shell of its former self churning out pale imitations of its long since stale original products with no innovation or thoughfulness. Then it would be sold off to a predatory hedge fund to be stripped for parts and shut down.


#5

Right?

Who better to run the factory than the people that know it best?

Plus mandatory company meetings would never be boring.


#6

Late-stage chocolatiering.


#7

Sometimes we recognize our worst self in someone, and we don’t like what we see.


#8

They should seize the means of confection and establish an Oompa Loompa collective along the lines of the Mondragon Corporation model. :grinning:

Safety in that factory is a joke. They were probably safer in Loompaland.


#9

The new hotness in Wonkology is the proposal that Snowpiercer is actually a sequel. It’s rather compelling as these things go.


#10

Whoa whoa whoa. Violet loved gum, not candy; completely different animal. Charlie, on the other hand, loved chocolate so much that when he came upon loot, he rightfully fed his chocolate jones instead of turning over that money to his poor family. And then he purchased a second bar “for his grandfather” but let’s face it; he knew grandpa would split it with him, leaving him 1.5 Wonka bars in the black.

That’s the kind of thinking I want running my chocolate factory, and overseeing my orange-skinned slave labor force!


#11

Additional evidence that she might make a great cult-of-personality CEO in an American company in 2018 comes from Grandpa Joe’s observation:

nitwit

I must disagree. That factory is dangerous, but you haven’t known true fear until you’ve been stalked by a Hornsnozzler, Snozzwanger, Vermicious Knid or a Whangdoodle.

[I hereby grant @papasan the exclusive right to make the obvious follow-up joke]

I think you’re confusing Violet with Veruca. But Violet’s father was a used car salesman, so I can’t see the ultimate outcome being much different.


#12

I still think this movie is like Battle Royale with sweets.


#13

I dunno. Violet shows a habit of impulsive behavior and lack of forethought. She wants it now after all. And gives little consideration to consequences, or obvious signs of risk and sarcastic warnings from Wonka.

ETA: shit just realized I confused the kids IGNORE ME.

Charlie at least deeply considered his step outside the rules, picked what was the least inherently dangerous product to illegally sample, and through quick thinking avoided the worst of the consequences.

Violet strikes me as the type to put the company deeply in debt to buy out Slugworth Chocolates. Opening the company up for leveraged buy out from literal Vulture Capitalists.


#14

I’ve always thought a Laverne & Shirley mashup with the Wonka world would go over swimmingly with the buying public.


#15

If the aim is maximum profits then Willy Wonka wants

Augustus Gloop in charge of quality control
Violet Beauregarde in charge of sales
Mike Teevee in charge of PR
Veruca Salt as CEO

If he wants to continue the focus on making good chocolate then he wants the oompa loompas to form an anarcho-syndicalist commune to run the factory.

Either way Charlie Bucket doesn’t have a chance.


#16

#17

I’m good with this sequel


#18

Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee,
This factory’s run by you and by me.
Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo,
The means of production- we’re seizing them too…


#19

I’m ignoring you right now; tell me when to stop.


#20

I would’ve given it to the employees.

“Oompa-loompa’s of the world, Unite!”