Veruca Salt gets my vote.
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Who knows the dizzying heights they could reach?
About 3 foot 6?
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Maybe Wonka is trying to give the factory to the Oompa Loompas but can’t do it directly for some reason, so he has to find the most gullible and inexperienced person he can to set them up for failure so the workers are forced to take control.
That’s pretty farfetched.
But still, it would have been awesome for the book/movie to end with Wonka saying “So Charlie, how much do you know about running a multi-billion dollar multinational confectionery company? Keep in mind that your only assistants will be practicing song and dance routines for 8 hours of each day so you will be on you own. Good bye forever!”
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“There he was, pacing up and down under the bed.”
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“Shlamile, Slamazle, Wonka chocolate incorporated”
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Whoa, whoa, whoa…that’s a different author and story altogether, isn’t it? One involving a high-behind Splintercat?
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Mr. Salt, as CEO of a large peanut company, is in a pretty good position to acquire a chocolate factory. He is already in the food industry and would probably end up combining chocolate and peanuts to invent the Snickers Bar. He also has the management experience and business sense but Veruca’s demands may prove to be major impediments. Maybe she can be in charge of customer service so she has to listen to everyone else bitch and moan about not getting what they want. I also think Salt was the only one to tell their kid not to sign Wonka’s small print contract before reading it. Brilliant legal mind right there.
Mr. Beauregarde, the car salesman, could head up the sales department. Mike Teavee would be in charge of advertising (maybe just TV ads). Violet, having learned her lesson about tasting products before they are ready, would be a whiz in the gum department. Mrs. Teavee is a geography teacher so she can run regional and international outreach. Didn’t Charlie’s father work at a toothpaste factory or something? He can be in charge of employee moral and the oompa-loompa benefits package. Charlie had a newspaper route so he can either be a local delivery boy or a porter in the glass elevator (sorry kid).
As for the Gloop mother and son, keep them as far away as possible or they will eat all the inventory.
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Maybe not. They are in the UK illegally and probably don’t have the rights neccisary to own property.
But then Wonka is the one who trafficked them into the UK, and the only one with the ability to make their presence legal.
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Perhaps manners mattered back then and it was more of a quality of character choice.
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Nah, Quality Control and tasting stuff from the test kitchen or R&D
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At least they could still go by their real names (Whipple-Scrumpets) and not the names imposed on them by their oppressors.
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The Oompas would do well to have Charlie as the CMO/head of PR. It is good to know your customers and what they want. Charlie would make a great “face” of the company while O-L syndicate focuses on operations/quality.
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Augustus would be great at development (in a lab far far away from any product warehouse) but I don’t know about research or tasting. Seems like he’d eat anything.
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Charlie can be a steward for the glass elevator.
You beat me to it.
Shoud’a unionized.
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Charlie’s father put the caps on tubes of toothpaste. He’s either way overqualified for his current job or completely unprepared for overseeing the health plans for a major corporation.
That said, the Oompa Loompas seem to be in indentured servitude so it’s not clear that they would even have benefits.
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OMG! WTF is Augustus Goop doing with those jade eggs??
Wonky needed someone who didn’t have any assets. After OSHA and the Health Department finish with all the fines for a multitude of violations. Violet and her family would be ruined. She dodged a bullet.
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