Originally published at: Why was this 14-foot reticulated python slithering around Long Island, New York? | Boing Boing
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Up in RI, on an island where we were vacationing when I was a child, my mom opened the porch door, screamed, and slammed it closed. There was an 8’, utterly beautiful pale yellow and white python sunning itself on the garden path. A call to the police revealed that it had escaped, and been properly reported to animal control, a few months earlier. They sent out car, got the snake in an old pillowcase, and returned it to its owner, who let my brother and I into his collection to look at his dozens of snakes – he was a researcher at a college who really loved his work and took it home with him when snake-related project funding ended. That was a fun vacation, though Mom probably has a different opinion.
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Why was this 14-foot reticulated python slithering around Long Island, New York?
Because it couldn’t drive or hold an MTA pass?
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Looking at the thumbnail, I thought that was a spike strip by the car,rather than a mahasswiiiive snake.
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It had to slither. . . duh, no legs.
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It was looking for it’s buddy - the chicken crossing the road.
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Why? Cause he couldn’t hail a cab. Obvi.
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What happened to the Chicken that crossed the road?
It ended up sleeping with the fishes; you should never cross the road!
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“It is illegal to keep these types of snakes as pets in New York and they may only be possessed by holders of a Dangerous Animal License. An investigation into the owner of the snake is ongoing.”
$50 says they filed off the ssserial number.
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Why do snakes slither? Likely because tap-dancing is out of the question.
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At first I wondered how they knew it was well-spoken, but then I saw it was reticulated, not articulate.
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Reticulated buses are not usually well-spoken, in my experience. 
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I keep thinking back to Jerry Seinfeld’s early stand-up bit about dogs being amazed by us because they can’t drive due to non-opposable thumbs.
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