Why your local record store employee became an asshole

Record stores used to be places of great anguish for me because there were all these things I wanted to check out, and very few I could afford to buy. So I was the annoying kid who’d grab handfuls of CDs and then ask them for a listen.

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apparently people thought I was an asshole but it was (at least partially) because I was the opening shift and I just woke up and was usually hung-over. so I seemed surly. I used to love helping people, though.

we were at the other end of the block from the Greyhound station, so all the homeless addicts were always trying to use our bathroom to take hobo baths or sell us stuff or run game on us. but a lot of those guys/girls were down with us, too.

  • ChiTown, who was awesome and usually pretty chill, came in one day what must have been moments after smoking crack and started dancing and singing “Aquaboogie.”

  • another guy scammed a bunch of prescription pills and asked me what they were, so I got on a pill ID site. “Oh, uh, these are diuretics…”
    “What’s that?”
    “They make you pee.”
    [tremendous, palpable disappointment]

  • cops come in, they saw our blackboard and ask to borrow the chalk so they can mark the position of some shell casings

  • cops come in and inquire about buying our vintage NWA poster

  • a DJ who is now with an extremely well-known and loved rap group comes in with boxes and boxes of records for sale. I end up giving him a favorable price largely due to the big stack of battle records that were in there. Battle records were a consistent money-maker for us and all his were no longer in press, so I knew we could re-coup, and quickly. He leaves and I go to price and shelve them; all the battle records were just empty sleeves, i.e. he had bought double copies for routines, put both plates in the sleeve he kept, and stored the extra sleeves in with the mountains of wack bullshit he sold to us. anyhow, water under the bridge, Lord.

  • had to mace a guy once. we had all types of weapons but I saw that thing on Jackass where they taze and mace Johnny Knoxville and the mace instantly drops him and he said mace fucked him totally up, so I went for the mace. Just so you know, if the dude you mace is on crack, he can power through it as if it were a mere annoyance.

amazingly, some of the photos from our MySpace are still hosted, but unfortunately not the ones of the graffiti in the bathroom.

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There’s a few of them in that album:

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oh, the MySpace layout has been re-coded, so I didn’t find them for whatever reason. good looking out!

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“I’m from the interwebz and I’m here to help”

Side scrolling is lame

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Also, the only evidence I can find that the term is a rape joke comes with caveats like “I’ve heard”. Know Your Meme claims it’s about spanking, which seems to make more sense. Not that spanking is OK, but it’s not anal rape. The mental image I always got was a kid who had a light slap or fell over and started rolling around on the floor for the attention. It mainly seems to be used to tell people not to take something too seriously when they think it’s trivial and the other person doesn’t. This could be the use of rape jokes, negative stereotyping of marginalised groups or some slight against white men “that would never be allowed if it were women or black people”. Obviously people with more privilege are more likely to claim that their jokes are harmless and shouldn’t be taken seriously, so the demographic you mentioned will be more likely to ignore actual offence and be ridiculously thin-skinned when they see an opportunity to react against a perceived slight.

Some examples of people labelled butthurt on BB:

Someone who objects to the depiction of a Native American in a sign, when there are other depictions of Mexicans in Mexican restaurants
Someone who objects to the use of ‘they’ to make generalised statements about white people, because all racial stereotyping is wrong.
Someone who insinuates that northern USians stereotype Southerners as racist and Northerners as not racist.
Someone who doesn’t like a tweet saying “Genie, you’re free” to Robin Williams after his death.
People who object to BB’s hypocrisy for blocking comments that are against its SJW agenda, while criticising something that the commenter thinks is comparable.(threatening protesters in a mall with arrest)
People who violently object to some slight to their overwhelmingly dominant religion.

Some of these are more valid than others (I haven’t cherry picked the ones I agree with), but they certainly aren’t all by white males or punching down. Sometimes people just need to get a sense of humour and not take themselves too seriously.

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I always assumed it meant someone who fell on their ass and so feels foolish, much like the demeanour of a cat that has just ungracefully run full tilt into a glass door.

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This is one of the problems with thinking about an idiom at a level most people don’t, making conjectures about its origin and deciding that everyone uses it to mean that (rather than using it as an idiom without having any real knowledge of its metaphorical meaning). One term that could have a sexist origin is “screw/fuck/mess up”. Society in the past was more sexist than it is now, so a “screw-up” could have meant a man screwing upwards, i.e. not taking the appropriate position of dominance over the woman during sex. The important thing to keep in mind is that people using it now are trying to preserve an antiquated and harmful gender model.

(I don’t actually think that’s the origin - my own theory would be that it’s like screwing a piece of paper into a ball, which would keep some connection to the idioms “that’s screwed up” or “I’m screwed” (making ‘up’ a particle rather than a preposition). It could also have something to do with prison guards (“screws”), as the terms both come from the late 19th century).

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!!!

I see what you did there…

#HAPPY MUTANTS

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Why can’t it be both? I bet it’s both…

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nope. nope. I think it’s pretty clear to all of us that anybody who uses the word “butthurt” is a wannabe rapist.

I’m looking at you, George Takei.

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Oh, well, Know Your Meme must be definitive, then.

Head over to the entry at Urban Dictionary, the top result from Googling the term (and referred to by Know Your Meme). Note that none of the definitions refer to spanking, but many refer to rape. Heck, even the top definition, which refers to emotional responses and shame, seems to apply better to a rape situation than a spanking situation (as Gawker, the fifth result from a Google, acknowledges).

Take a look at Encyclopedia Dramatica, and it’s more of the same.

Most sites seem to agree that rape is associated with the term, with some not mentioning the origin of the metaphor, and only Know Your Meme suggesting the origin is from spanking. Of course, “spank” happens to be a word that is also used figuratively to insult people, so I’m not sure why we would need a new word to replace this existing word.

Anyway, regardless of the actual etymology of “butthurt,” I think it’s clear it is associated with rape in the minds of many. “I’ve heard” it can refer to spanking, but if Google is any indicator then many people have also heard it’s a reference to rape.

UD and ED are fascinating websites, but using them to prove a point about offensiveness?

I think it’s clear that Obama is associated with being a secret Muslim in the minds of many.

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As opposed to Know Your Meme?

UD has user-supplied definitions, which kind of lets us know what some people think they’re saying when they use a word. When the question is what a word means when they say it, this would seem to be relevant.

Sure. And this information is important to know if we want to understand what those people mean when they talk about Obama’s religion. What people think a word means is pretty important when we want to understand the common meaning of that word.

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What “butthurt” is meant to mean depends, of course, upon the intentions of the speaker. But I have definitely heard it used often in a rapey context. For example: “Sure, he got royally fucked, so now he’s butthurt.” and other similar uses which really are meant to convey, with whatever level of seriousness, a degree of sexual violence, a scenario of being anally dominated. So I think it tends to be distasteful in use, but everything depends upon context. IF you prefer to not perpetuate a paradigm of sex as power struggle, you might want to consider saying something else.

Some terms cause offense for what they mean literally - such as “fggt” - a thing that ones lights on fire. I had a friend who was murdered by being burned alive, and it is distressing for me to think about even now. OTOH consider “nggr” - which literally means “black” - but still caries an extremely strong pejorative flavor because of its usage.

I don’t agree with getting overly prescriptive about what to say, and what not to say, in terms of codifying blanket PC regulations for self-censorship. But it would be ignorant and awkward to choose to remain unaware of the ways people can and will interpret way you say. That’s just lazy.

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My point is that claiming that it’s about spanking or about rape is engaging in folk etymology unless there’s some evidence that the phrase originated there or is associated with rape. I don’t visit gaming sites, so I can’t really comment about the usage there, but rape is far from the only explanation and it certainly isn’t the only image that you could associate with the idiom. Aside from the ones that have been mentioned, it could refer to the way a baby or adult acts when they have a pain in the ass (another idiom that could superficially be attributed to anal rape) - kind of whiny and more likely to get upset about little things. Until this thread, I’d never heard of the meaning “someone who just got raped and didn’t like it”. If everyone else got the memo and I didn’t, I don’t mind not using it.

The Gawker article doesn’t really say anything against what I said - ‘butthurt’ just means that I think you are taking something more personally than you should. If you are butthurt because your people just got bombed, it says something about me that I think that was trivial. If you are butthurt because you don’t like having a woman promoted over you, that’s probably fair criticism. It’s similar to ‘concern trolling’ - it can be used to stifle all interesting discussion or could be a valid objection to a really stupid action. The borders are kind of fuzzy and both labels can be used to criticise someone for objecting to a comment on an issue that matters to them.

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ARe you sure it was Blue?

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But that’s not how language works. There are plenty of words whose commonly-understood meaning (i.e., what the word is “about”) differs from the actual etymology of the word.

Did you actually read it? Because here’s what it says:

There is, however, a pretty obvious cause of butthurt that everyone envisions when they try to think of its point of origin. It’s called getting fucked in the ass.

Look, obviously many people don’t intend that interpretation when they use the word. Doubtless, a lot of people recognize it simply as an effective term in the discourse that can be used to put someone down. Like kids with gay uncles or aunts who would never dream of wounding their family but nevertheless say, “Ugh, that is so gay,” on the playground, butthurt is likely just a weapon in the arsenal of many people who’ve never stopped to think what it means.

That’s unfortunate, but it’s not an excuse. The imagery of forced humiliating sodomy (or at the most optimistic, a thorough ass-kicking) immediately conjures up pretty clear pictures of the victims, and those people are bitches. Bitches like women, who aren’t as strong as men, who are subordinate to them because God or biology made them weak, who are meant to have things shoved in them, in areas around the butt. Bitches like male weaklings in prison populations, who can’t fend off attackers with their fists and have to preserve their safety by being regularly sodomized at another’s behest, who only get what they deserve as criminal subhumans anyway.