Not sure what it is about the Van Morrison thing, but I guess everyone gets pissy about it. I had the same thing happen when working at a chain record store in the early 90s. Some guy and his girl couldnāt find Van Morrison under the Vs. I chuckled self-deprecatingly and explained that itās under āMā because his name is actually First: āVanā and that his last name is āMorrisonā and that I had made the same mistake when I started working there. I was surprised that they got all butthurt, like I was insulting them, when I was really commenting at my own expense.
From what I hear they seem to hate, āI used to have this one!ā which Iām sure Iāve said many times.
Ben Folds Five ā¦ Under B since thatās the bandās name. His solo stuff ā¦ Under F! 
Iām sure theyāre an asshole because people ask silly questions. It has nothing to do with working retail hours for a retail paycheck.
Customer: āThis that concert that got Sting and Yo Yo Mama?ā
Anybody wanna play the dozens where we just take turns insulting Yo Yo Ma?
I once had a customer that couldnāt understand why the band 100 Flowers was listed under the letter āOā. Then there were the customers who didnāt know the name of the song they were looking for, so they would start singing it with hopes that I could figure it out. It was an easy gig that didnāt pay much but the best perks were free concert tickets and record release parties.
I just looked this up because I never knew this. His middle name is Ivan and he just went by Van as his name. You learn something every day. However, I think the average person going into a store will be looking for him under the Vs. The only mistake is that the employees want to feel educated and aloof. And reduce the # of albums they sell.
Then again, I think that is every record store employees dream, to be able to limit the idiots that are unworthy of owning an album.
I hit JazzMart in Chicago every few months when Iām in town, these folks are the exact opposite of the record store employees Iāve ever met. They love their music and want you to love it too, but are willing to help you find what you want anyways. Last time I was there, they actually helped me order something from Amazon because they had no way of getting a hold of it. And while I was on the page, amazon suggested a few other things and they said āWell we do have this and I forgot about it, but you might want to consider this one tooāā¦so they ended up with a sale anyways.
It is one of the few record stores Iāll go into that I donāt feel judged and insulted when Iām there.
Iām pretty sure some of them start out as pretentious assholes. Theyāre like librarians that way. Some remain good-natured and patient in spite of years of being asked for The Count of Monte Carlo.
For all the stores that have Van Morrison under āM,ā do they file Elvis under āPā?
Why your local record store employee became an asshole
Because I used to ask to listen to all the new stuff from the hardcore section when I could only afford one or two records a week on a Friday? He really hated hardcore, and I donāt think a shared appreciation for drum and bass fixed the problem.
The guy who owned the shop didnāt have a problem though, he was a former Black Sabbath roadie who had a love for most music and was a generally nice guy.
I can relate one experience from the otherwise (or previously) estimable Waterloo Records (Austin TX), about 15 or 20 years ago. One of the clerks evidently put a CD-ROM in the storeās CD player (although someone else, when I told him about this, suggested it could have been something like a Merzbow CD). OK, funny, for about half a minute anyway. After that, another shopper (older than me, like my dadās age) politely asked if theyād mind putting on something else. The clerk responded, āOh? What would you rather hear?ā in a tone so smarmy that it took Waterloo down several notches for me thereafter.
I am absolutely naming a band Aryan Neville.
Using the word ābutthurtā isnāt the best way to claim the moral high ground and present yourself as some sort of self-deprecating Samaritan.
We did, yes.
Actually, it isā¦because as I led them happily to what they were looking for, essentially saying āI had trouble finding it at first too, because I stupidly didnāt realize Van is actually his first nameāā¦ but when we got to the proper section they got very pissy, saying sarcastically āwell, so sorry we didnāt knowāā¦ uhhh, no, I was empathizing, saying āno worries, I didnāt know either at firstā but the fact that they somehow threw a tantrum about it in the face of my saying āI totally get you and why youāre frustrated/lostā is the definition (although the term wasnāt around at the time) of Butthurt.
Lighten up, Francis.
http://persephonemagazine.com/2013/01/can-we-please-stop-using-the-term-butthurt/
Even if you donāt see how that word is interpreted that way, your use of it as an insult doesnāt suggest a lot of empathy, nor does your suggestion that people āstupidlyā donāt know that Van isnāt part of his last name. Saying āhey, I used to be as stupid as you!ā isnāt as self-deprecating as you seem to think.
Maybe you should lighten up and understand their reaction.
I live near Waterloo Records and have spent a fair amount of time and money there. I go to noise, energy music, and experimental shows, theyāve occasionally played stuff that nearly made me beg for mercy. But itās rare, and kind of welcome now that the university station has a corporate playlist format.
You know the less pretentious music stores Iāve been toā¦the ones that actually care about their customersā¦would actually put a second divider for the commonly differently ordered artists to say Looking For Elvis? Look Under Presley.
It is amazing that these bitter geniuses didnāt think to do this.
Since there seems to be a bit of a negative tide turning here, mostly because (understandably) everyone is picturing the record store employees as Jack Blackās character in High Fidelityā¦ I will say I never once saw any of my fellow employees act with hostility toward any customer. In fact, we all loved helping people when they were looking for things within the genre each of us personally gravitated toward. Each store usually has someone who is well-steeped in a certain genre and the managers are often renaissance (wo)men in all realms.
And the misunderstanding requests were like a puzzle, trying to figure out what it was they were actually after, followed by a victory lap when you mated the customer with what they were trying to convey/find. True, we might later have a laugh about it in the back room, but never directly to the customer. It was always frustrating if you failed to figure out what they were after.
