Woman fights to keep her three emotional support monkeys

i know these aren’t chimps, but this chimp had nice photos.image5631364


It’d be nice if the monkey owner were just an asshole pretending to have PTSD so they can watch monkeys terrorize the neighborhood; or if this was just about some nosy neighbours making a nuisance of themselves. God I hope it’s not just a shitty situation where it’s impossible to keep everyone happy and everyone just has to settle for a balance of misery.


a rundown of why it’s probably not good for the monkeys themselves:


Oh man - that reminds me of a girfriend’s mom. I went over to her mom’s house and she had like a dozen of those miniature dobermans. Supposedly they were show dogs, and they did look in good shape - but there was so many, and not well trained. Evidently she was grandfathered into an ordinance that limited how many dogs one may have usually.

In that same bit on Jim Jeffries, he got a camel certified by not one but two places as a “support animal”. He got a camel so it could do spit takes.


So you have support monkeys. Great. I won’t question that, and I won’t question the need for three of them. I will, however, question this woman’s lack of due diligence about where she was moving. If the monkey are that important to your life, wouldn’t you at least look at the animals of the place you are moving to? Just because she didn’t do that puts here in “Chihuahua in my purse” territory.


I am no expert, but the two pictures on this article both seem to show a depressed animal sucking its thumb for self comfort.


The thing that makes 2019 different from other years is that you would not have to go very far to find someone in America willing to honestly agree with this argument.

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So many unanswered questions…
Does she take them shopping, to church, anywhere out of her home?
One at a time, or all three?
If she travels, does she have pet carriers, or do they just run around in the car?
Do they still sell Purina MonkeyChow, or does she feed them off the plate?
How did she get these in the first place? At the Emotional Support Animal Depot?

I don’t want to belittle anyone’s emotional problems, but damn… these are wild animals that can tear you a new one in an instant… or fight each other to the death at any time.


Probably not the best emotional support animal to have if you got your PTSD from having your face chewed off by a chimpanzee.

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Too much monkey business.


I’m spanking my emotional support monkey right now!


Pictures merely show they aren’t invisible.


I simply can’t imagine three monkeys creating a calm and soothing emotional environment more often than they would create one that was VERY different.


given that it is an impending court case, one might say that it is unfinished monkey business…


I think one issue are the species that she’s choosing as her support animals.

As noted in the article, primates are specifically disallowed by local law. Does having someone sign off that they’re “emotional support animals” mean that local regulations no longer apply?

Can I have a big old “emotional support hyena” if I can find some quack to sign off for my depression? It certainly would perk me up to see it deal with some a-hole neighbors of mine…


Did anyone else notice this?

…McBride-Teahan considers the monkeys emotional support animals and has a doctor’s letter and registration cards…

I’m not doubting the monkeys provide solace for the woman, but what she has is a letter from a licensed professional counselor.



Monkeys are insanely strong and dextrous. Which means, among other things, they can rip your kneecap clean off in one fluid motion.

I would emphatically not trust Joe Random Neighbor to safely keep monkeys.

You really should read the community guidelines…



Sorry, first post. You’re saying my agreeing with her own assessment of her mental health isn’t appropriate?

Speculating about people’s mental health when you don’t have a diagnosis isn’t really cool. I don’t think she describes herself as “not entirely sane”. Also, assuming that “most people” are lying about their mental/emotional needs isn’t really cool either.

But again, it’s in the guidelines.

Welcome to Boing Boing.