Women Only

Continuing the discussion from Millennial men no less sexist than prior jerks:

In this thread, ONLY users who identify as female or nonmale may post.

If you are male, your role in this thread is to LISTEN. (So I won’t be talking.)

Anyone may LIKE posts in this thread, or start a Linked Topic to discuss.

Mods, if this turns bad or shouldn’t exist, you know what to do.


I don’t now about the other ladies… but I’m wholly uninterested in a space where men only listen… imo theres too much of that going on already.

The issue isnt just listening to women, its jumping in and talking to other men!

The number of times y’all like the crap out of my comments when I’m arguing with some troll and you all remain silent… i dont think you get how lonely that feels…


I honestly don’t have the energy most of the time to jump in–I know I’m just going to get pissed off and say “well, fuck you!” instead of having anything coherent to say. So I totally am one of the people who do that (to you, and to several other regulars), as a way of saying, “Fight the good fight!” Sorry :cold_sweat:

Every once in a while I do get riled up enough to step up, but liquid courage is usually involved!


So, I’m going to break the rules of this thread right from the start, because I don’t know how else to make this a dialogue. I’m also going to cling to the notion that maybe it got off on the wrong foot by having the ground rules laid out by a dude. (sorry @SlyBevel that’s what you get.)

When I see @Missy_Pants or anyone else fighting with a troll, I’ll generally just throw a like if it seems the situation is under control and I have nothing meaningful to add to the conversation. If someone is being abusive, I’ll throw flags, or comment, or both. I’ve always viewed just tossing a like in those situations as a statement that the recipient is kicking ass on their own.


I think @Missy_Pants is right in that when it’s NOT a troll, we’d like support too.


Oh man the tiredness… the pure exhaustion sometimes… i so get that. I nope out of more conversations than i actually engage in.

@Mindysan33 This. Trolls are easy. Its the non trolls that are hard.


I have probably hit cancel way more times than I have hit send.

So many arguments just aren’t worth it.


Right - a new account, saying over the top things, we can all see that as an intervention as a community. When it’s a community member acting dismissive, that’s a whole different ball game, especially if that person is valued. They get given the benefit of the doubt and treated with kid gloves, no matter how hurtful they are being.


Dont be pointing out subtlety or unconscious bias now! Lest you get accused of having thin skin or being an “SJW”!

And if you have a vagina never expect an apology.

The unwritten rules of the BBS.

(joking but not really…)


But… it’s not like none of this is new, not like we haven’t said ALL OF THIS BEFORE… because every time it comes up (usually on a thread about women) it comes up, we complain and nothing changes.


Oh good, it wasn’t just me.

Edit: I really am not trying to pick on you personally, @SlyBevel, because I believe you had good intentions. But there’s something a little “ew” about a guy going “okay ladies, I made you a nice space.”


What started this whole thing, anyway?

The fact that there was a post saying millennials are no less sexist than any other generation?

It’s true, but that’s not a character assassination upon anyone personally.

All bias is learned from our environment and upbringing; it’s unavoidable living in a society.

But we each have the ability to overcome our own individual bias; it just takes acknowledging it and then actively working on it.


Thats the key right there. We cannot change what we won’t acknowledge. But change is hard and scary and I find the smarter the group the more resistant to change. (eg: elevatorgate)


That’s the core of most of our problems in the world, methinks.




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