World's greatest toilet installation


Originally published at:


But it works…


I thought it would be this:

Two-story outhouse, Mattoon IL.


Bet there’s a nice view from the top commode.


What…what’s the view like from the bottom?


That’s what I wanna know!?


You know what they say: if you’re not Number One, the best you can be is Number Two.


Like GrandPa always said: “You’re my favorite turd, I wouldn’t shit ya”. Gosh I miss him…


I’m actually pretty impressed that the toilet guy was able to get a toilet in there.


Pano of the men’s room at the local Whataburger, taken over the weekend. Face-to-face toilets, single shared TP dispenser (too far away to reach from one of the toilets), paper towel dispenser directly over the toilet, no available wall space for the trash can that doesn’t block at least one fixture… It’s got all the parts anyway, but, uh, no.

I always wondered how this happened. I assume it was the result of a violent collision between building code and common sense. If so, there were no survivors.


I’ll take that toilet in the middle.


I believe that’s the trash can. But I’m sure it wouldn’t be the 1st time.

House I grew up in had a 1/2 bath with the toilet facing the sink so the sink hung in your lap if you sat straight. I always sat “sidesaddle”, dating from when I was so small the back of my ass didn’t reach the seat back anyway, so there was no difference.


Where’s the changing table?


Pretty shitty.


I am reminded of the latrine in the WWII era barracks where I took Basic and Adavanced Training at Ft. Benning, GA.

It was six commodes, facing each other in two rows of three, with not even the suggestion of dividers between them. I think it was a calculated decision to inure the soldiers-in-training who were required to use them to some of the indignities they could expect to experience during their upcoming service to their country.


Late stage capitalism. The trickle-down theory in action.


If you’re going to have commodes facing each other, you should at least put a backgammon table between them.


I’d like to see Mike Holmes presented with that. He’d explode.


I was thinking an arm-wrestling table. If I’m going to be facing another dude and we’re both going to be grunting and straining, we may as well make a game out of it.


“Look here, Corbell. We know you don’t need a woman. If you did you would have taken one by now and we would have wiped you and started over. You’ve lived in the dormitory for two weeks and you have not used the mating facilities once.”
“Damn it, Pierce, do you expect me to make love in public? I can’t!”
“Corbell, you learned to use the toilet, didn’t you? Because you had to. You know what to do with a woman but you are one of those men fortunate enough not to need one. Otherwise you could not be a rammer.”