We felt much as Shackelton must have, but with less, you know… ice. And more people coming and going around us. Not too far from a road. And like only a few miles from a town. And well, okay. . . probably nothing like Shackelton, but it does support my thesis, so we’ll run with that.
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Why didn’t you write the commercial?
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In all fairness, if you’re regularly eating at Subway, you’re already getting the lifetime of uninspiring experiences.
Who said I didn’t? 
Because your story makes me want to buy a Subway sandwich and the video didn’t.
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I keep telling my wife we should go into advertising. But I think it would probably suck the last of my soul from my body and leave me a dried, withered husk of a man who consists on a diet of aspirin and ant-acids. But thanks, I did enjoy writing it (true story actually, that really did happen to us. . . the descent was way steeper than we realized and had no breaks for two miles, it broke us).
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At least this misshapen abomination is not a pedophile
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As far as we know…
I was hoping it was Ace Hardware.
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the scene at subway at the end is so jarring. Like in spite of the whole freaky incel bit there his life is painted in this beautiful way without technology or consumerism. Then suddenly he’s in the ordinary world with pre-shredded iceberg lettuce and pasteurized cheese food and white bread that pretends to be fresh food - and the employee making minimum wage acting like they enjoy their job - presented to people who are so beaten down by consumerism that they couldn’t care less.
disclaimer: I actually just finished a small road trip and ate at subway today. but I was under no delusion that the experience was any more profound than the bag of combos i bought earlier from a gas station.
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Then again, you could be Mare Winningham in St. Elmo’s Fire crying over a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
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I thought this was an American take on the Thai insurance commercials that popup on the interwebs at times. Not insurance. That would have been better.
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That would have at least made sense.
I’m not sure what they’re trying to say with this commercial. Subway is the fast food of choice for overwrought melodramatic incels?
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MARRY AND REPRODUCE
SANDWICHES ARE YOUR GOD
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When I worked at Subway in 1991, we would have to soak marble sized brown substance balls in a giant steel bowl for 12 hours until they expanded into “meatballs” and our boss paid us with cash and Mexican weed that we could smoke in the walk-in cooler. I don’t have a point. I don’t know, do you feel transcended. We all took shrooms ona night shift and our manager was too afraid of the promotional Terminator Two cup display that had a built-in red LED light, so he just stayed on the floor, under a table in the back for two hours.
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I knew that lettuce tasted extra potent
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“Dude, you can come out, we put it in the back freezer.”
“He’ll be back… He’ll be back!”
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Subway sandwiches?
Shit, I thought they were advertising for subway cars.
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Which reminds me, I miss the old wallpaper.
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I’m okay with a sandwich god especially if he could jesus me up a meatball sub right now.
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