Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/06/28/wtf-is-this-commercial-for-a-f.html
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A good sandwich can be a spiritual experience, but not a Subway sandwich, never…
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“OK, so I guess I’ll have the 6-inch Black Forest Ham on wheat, with red onions, tomato, lettuce, mustard, and a lifetime of unremarkable experiences. To go.”
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I was guessing a retirement account. I feel so naive.
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I guess that’s better than having a pedophile as your spokesperson.
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Untrue. At the right time, even a Subway sandwich can be the lifeblood of your existence.
Case in point: my wife and I, a bit more out of shape than we realized despite hiking and kayaking often, hike down into the Shenandoah valley for an overnight, with forty pound packs on our backs. 12% grade for two miles down and back up the next day. Our legs were jello by the time we hit bottom, so you could imagine how we felt when we got back to the top.
We were starving. We were exhausted. We hurt. We drove into the nearest town. . . and there was Subway. It called to us. We staggered in, got our food, sat down. Stared at it for a moment, contemplating our very existence. Then we mowed those plates clean in about two minutes flat.
It was, without a doubt, the best twelve inch steak and cheese with mayo and lettuce I’ve ever had. It tasted like heaven had touched my lips and tongue. I barely recall eating it, only recall that my mind was elsewhere during those moments, and the light coming in through the window seemed brighter than it should have. It cast a glow around our table, my wife, the soon emptied trays. It’s a moment I’ll never forget.
Any food is amazing at the right time. Even crap. It transcends its inherent qualities and becomes mana for your body and soul.
But this commercial is still full on bonkers crazy.
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Hunger is the best sauce.
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Boy, am I glad I got the fuck out of advertising. I used to have a problem with grinding my teeth at night and it disappeared almost immediately after I made that decision.
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Do you all recall the (more brutal) X-box commercial? Now that was one short/artistic: “life is cruel so consume” ad (even was supposedly ‘banned’ (by who?))
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I thought it was going to be about… plastics.
I thought, for sure, that kid was going to grown up to be Benjamin Braddock.
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Meanwhile, Mr Goodcents is still using this misshapen abomination…
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Makes total sense to me. The guy/kid just died after/because of eating at Subway, his life is flashing before his eyes.
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Where was this originally aired?
I’m happy to get my pitchfork, but there’s so much stuff in this that would never fly in the US market. The edited nudity, and the pantsless child urinating on a fire hydrant, for starters–not even touching on the fact that this doesn’t jive at all with Subway’s brand image.
Before I go join the mob in shouting “rabble rabble rabble” I think I need to verify that this is actually a thing Subway made and aired. We live in the dumbest timeline, so it could very well be real but it could also be satire, or some kind of hoax designed to get we “anti-business, overly-sensitive snowflakes” riled up.
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Maybe it needs those Wes Anderson filter glasses
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Agreed, but don’t you dare to cast any aspersions on Blimpies!
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Funny you should mention that, because one of the many, many obnoxious tropes I hated in this film was #47, “Intense Focus on Children as Sexual Beings”.
There’s also #201, “Person Yelling at Sky Because Full of Life” (nothing says “universal experience” like an image of a person doing something no actual person ever does, unless they’re a sociopathically insincere poser), and #119, “Edgy Outsider Who Happens to Just Naturally Be a Confident Fuck Magnet”, but really, the whole thing is such self-regarding dogshit that it’s pointless to pick faves.
@57Lh7m5gq2f04iR this sort of ad is usually a rejected proposal, or even spec work, released or “leaked” by an agency looking for attention; I doubt it’s actually aired anywhere, and I suspect it was pretty much finished before they even knew what brand they were going to pitch it at. It’s possible Subway never even knew about it.
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Your adventure sounds very similar to Shackleton’s men on his last polar expedition, when – starving and down to having to consume their sled dogs – they remarked on the incredible deliciousness of the meat.
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Roger that!
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UGH. The ■■■■■-sounding ASMR in the first 30 seconds (and shots of afterbirth-filled babywater) were plenty for me. Didn’t get any farther.
Or, that’s what Subway wants us to think.
Subway – eat fresh!
(This post has been brought to you by Subway.)
