Young Ben Shapiro trash-talks a punching bag, which then knocks him out

[Mitchell]

@anon36271483

Narrator:
"As a teen, young Ben was bitten by a radioactive punch-bag.
Sadly, his uncle Peter was murdered by a bag-thief.
Now young Ben spends his days as a reporter but, at night, he tranforms into:

(Over to you, I am honestly spent.)

Woah, we just did this recently for George Santos

George Santos lied about his job to a judge, as heard in audio obtained by Politico (listen)

While on a school field trip, or so he claims, George Santos, if that is his real name, was bitten by a radioactive straight white man… Now he is your friendly neighbourhood Privilege-Man, who claims to live by the last words of his mother who died in 9/11, even though there’s no records or evidence to back that up - “With great power, comes no accountability.”

Hey! Now we can do Privilege-Man: Into the Privileged-verse!

Ben Shapiro [Narrating nasally]: All right, let’s do this one last time. My name is Ben Shapiro. I was bopped by a radioactive punching bag once, but anyway for ten years I’ve been the one and only Privilege-Man. I’m pretty sure you know the rest. I shrilly shilled for a bunch of bad people, fell in love with my own voice, “destroyed” the Libs in debate, and then I “destroyed” the Libs again… and again and again and again. And I, uh… I did this.
[Shapiro mocked for WAP tweet]
We don’t talk about WAP… But after everything, I still love being Privilege-Man. I mean, who wouldn’t? So no matter how many times I get humilitated, or discredited, I always keep coming back. Because the only thing standing between me and piles of money and fame is me if I decide I don’t want it. There’s only one Privilege-Man, and you’re looking at him.

[Cut to a young guy whose name may or may not be George Santos. Who knows really? He is buying clothes with a stolen cheque-book when he is bitten by a glowing alternate-universe version of Ben Shapiro - like with blonde hair or something.]