Who could resist this creepy Elfoid phone that will suck your soul out of your ear?

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It’s nothing to worry about unless in the morning it’s not where you left it the night before.

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Dude, that’s not a phone! It’s a buttplug.
Obama still has a blackberry, Rick Santorum has an Elfoid.

It should have forever blinking eyes, then I’m all in!

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Instead of a ringtone it wriggles its little stumps and makes subsonic noises that make you itchy and nauseous.

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