I prefer the sting of wit to what strikes me as the easy shock of cursing and body parts/functions.
I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
– Mark Twain
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
– Dorothy Parker
The 100% American is 99% idiot.
– G B Shaw
Most of my insults directed at others come to me extemporaneously, when I’m actually in the heat of the moment; so I can’t really say that I have a favorite.
Moron (pronounced moor-AHN) as used by Bostonians. Perfect combination of dismissive and derisive, flexible enough to be used in a variety of situations, from arguing with friends all the way to screaming at the car that nearly ran you over. Often modified with fucking, as in, “Hey, you fucking moron, watch where you’re going.” Now I know that moron is prevalent throughout the country, and fairly tame in most circles. But if you’ve ever been called a fucking moron by a Bostonian, you know exactly what I mean.
I’d kick you where it counts, if you had something that counted. My favorite insult!
Male bedbugs literally are needle dicked bug fuckers. To inseminate the female, the male bedbug stabs the female with his penis and injects the sperm directly into her circulatory system.
My two favorites have always been
You know, they told me you weren’t fit to eat with the pigs. But don’t worry, I assured them that you were.
and
Only your fleas will mourn you.
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