$1000 smart teapot discontinued

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2017/11/03/1000-smart-teapot-discontinue.html

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Not sure how much more simple than you can get by boiling water and dumping it over tea leaves in a cup? I guess I’m just not smart enough to get that.

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Double RIP.

@orenwolf

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The jokes are on the buyers of that teapot, I could buy a truckload of these for that much money

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We went to these extraordinary lengths because we believe…
… that the tea experience should be simpler

Okay…

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Jesus Magneto Christ, are they serious? And they’re wasting this marvel of technology on fucking TEA?
I personally know of a handful of people who are dying of various plasma based diseases who desperately need this tech!

(sarcasm, btw)

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“masterfully accelerates and extracts desired sets of flavor compounds while suppressing the extraction of undesired compounds”

What. A. Load. Of. Bollocks. The tea-maker may be a heating element tied into a microprocessor, but it’s still just a damn heating element - it can’t do magic. I guess customers weren’t falling for it.

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Even the way the model is pouring that thing is irritating me.

Like… it’s hot tea! Hold it with something more than your fingernails ffs.

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This is a deep, deep misunderstanding in Silicon Valley (and pretty cosmopolitan, to tell the truth:

Perhaps your customers do deserve the best. But “best” is not equal to “most complicated” or “most innovative” or “most expensive.” I imagine this is “better”:

For coffee my best option is a simple aeropress. I could spend hundreds on something like a Kuerig, but my water is so hard it would stop working in a few months (which happened when I tried to use a drip-style, like a Mr. Coffee).

Best is best. For the customer. Not for the “visionary.” Tephoria: your customer did choose what was best for them. Get over your goddamn arrogance. You do not know what it best for them, and if you had asked, my guess is that they would not have clamored for DRM tea pods.

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The other comment thread just auto-locked, so I’m going to leave this one open. Thanks, though!

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If the public “doesn’t get it,” that means your marketing department failed. And if you still blame the public, then you’ve failed as an executive, too. Any damn thing can be sold.

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No, no, no. This isn’t (wasn’t) merely making tea, it was delivering a tea experience.

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“The glass within the infusion globe and carafe are hand blown by a glass artisan, one at a time…and boy, howdy was that ever expensive. We owe that guy a buttload of dough so I’m sure you can understand our consternation regarding the demise of our ill-advised venture. Shit. I think he’s waiting in the parking lot. Shit. Shit.”

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Now this is serious!
If theres one thing in this country that really bothers me
Is the inability of yanks to make a good cup of tea
Instructions are printed on the teabag
But either they can’t read
Or they think it’s a gag

Pour boiling water over the tea
How simple and clear can the instructions be?

They bring you a cup with a lemon slice
And an unopened tea bag beside it (how nice)
And a pot of water and it may be hot
But boiling it isn’t so tea you have not

Why can’t we
Get our tea
We need tea
To set us free

It’s boiling water that brings out tea’s flavor
With a dash of milk you’ve a real brew to savor
They drink luke brown water that looks like gnat pee
And it’s got nothing to do with a good cup of tea

Pour boiling water over the tea
How simple and clear
Can the instructions be?

Pour boiling water over the tea
Pour boiling water over the tea

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Right? Never mind how “hand-blown glass” is going to change the taste of your tea =p .

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aren’t there better teas out there?

You really don’t want to pour boiling water over certain teas like kabusecha or spring-harvest Darjeeling, unless you want to experience a black hole of bitterness.

Every tea has its ideal temperature range but some are well below boiling point.

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Boiling water? Check.
High quality tea leaves of your preferred variety? Check.
Steep the correct amount of time to your taste? Check.
Add whatever sweetener or other adulterants you prefer? Check.

None of this requires anything besides the right ingredients and a clean cup/teapot. Artisanal brewer, my shiny metal ass.

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http://insidescoopsf.sfgate.com/blog/2015/10/29/we-tried-this-1300-tea-maker-so-you-dont-have-to/

To make the Teforia tea, leaves are first poured into the glass “tea infusion globe,” the top is closed and a button is pressed. The whole thing took about 3-4 minutes. For the taste test, the same tea leaves were mixed with water for the same amount of time. The verdict? After watching the whole thing go down and trying both finished products, dare we say it’s a little hard not to drink the kool….er, tea? The Teforia is shades darker, stronger, and smoother. Truth be told, it’s an entirely different cup of tea.

better than some of the “well, how does it compare to lipton” reviews…

but seriously, some blind taste tests would be nice to have.

It’s not hard to make a perfect cuppa using the ISO method, or the orwell method, but one does have to pay attention to the timer.

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