115-year-old woman tells us how she does it

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On the other hand, George Burns made it past 100 on a diet that consisted mostly of martinis and cigars. Longevity does seem largely luck-based. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was also in favor of sexy lingerie though.

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Ooh the elusive third set of teeth that comes in ~97 years. Some mammals never stop growing teeth, humans just mostly do.

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I have a feeling that this woman might beat her record…
Oldest working nurse in U.S. turns 90 | KFOR.com

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Awwwwwwww

(or)

Damn you and your tear-inducement!

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Where’s Ira Howard when you need him?

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I’ve seen enough movies to know that she is probably some sort of succubus that became a surgical nurse because she can collect the life force of patients that only have a few months without being detected – gaining a few extra months several times a year adds up.

Edit: I think that this is her (perhaps a sister)



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I think I found her sister –

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I wonder how it feels to be told you’re the oldest person in the world.

“Really? What happened to the other–oh…”

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Yeah but (for us at least), 116 is the life expectancy of people born 116 years ago.

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My primary reason for wanting to live “forever” – being able to say that it was due to stupid shit. To what do I attribute my long life? Well, I never farted; always ate my toenail clippings; and added pickle juice to my cereal every morning.

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I don’t understand why they always ask centenarians that dumb question. The true answer is “genes and luck,” and all the “secrets” they share (Don’t smoke! Have a positive outlook!) are inevitably qualities or practices shared with billions of people who died at half that age. Ask them something interesting! What was Teddy Roosevelt like in bed?

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That looks like Hazel McCallion, a former mayor in Canada who held her office for 36 some years.

A personality to be sure, but unfortunately toward the end of here career as a careerist she was found to be corrupt, trying to line the pockets of her kin by acting in full knowledge of COI.

But people like her.

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I spent last weekend visiting my 96yo grandmother. She naps. A lot. I asked her how many does she normally take a day. Her answer: “As many as I can.”

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“Over the last four years, her hair changed from gray to brown and softened. When she was 96, she grew a tooth — not a wisdom tooth, not an impacted tooth, but a new tooth — in her lower jaw. She’s a medical marvel.”

This is so cool, her body is all

“so… what now brain?”

“I dunno body, this shit is not in the manual, I checked the footnotes and everything,”

“Well, what should we do?”

“I dunno, get ready for more?”

“More what?”

“Well, food I guess, what about teeth? We need teeth?”

“Uh, used em all, sorry”

“Hey, we’re past the manual, we;re in new territory, we might need teeth.”

“Okay I guess, teeth coming up!”

“Hair?”

“Yeah I can get you some hair, no rules against it at this point, right”

“Right you are, we can do what we want, skies the limit!”

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This is a biologically interesting story (I want an analysis of her telomere length! Maybe she’s more like a lobster etc…), but… I really could have done without knowing #6 thankyouverymuch!

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Didn’t think I’d get to use this pic again so soon…

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So, dying in his sleep was probably actually autoerotic asphyxiation?

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Yeah, asthma and autoerotic asphyxiation likely don’t mix well.

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From opposite ends of the spectrum:

He’s not that old but still:

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