This is what I’d rather do than go to a luxury festival in the Bahamas:
http://www.clubgetaway.com/campjohnwaters/
Sadly, already sold out!
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Indeed. That’s why marketing and advertising are lame. They don’t explicitly specify anything, and rely upon you to instead bring your own context. To project your wants and needs upon a bare scaffolding. For example, here’s what the video in the OP describes:
two transformative wekends
an immersive music festival
on a remote and private island in the Exumas
the best in food, art, music, and adventure
once owned by Pablo Escobar
on the boundaries of the impossible
Fyre is an experience and a festival
a quest
to push beyond those boundaries
What’s the first thing I notice about these? They are all phrases, sentence fragments which do not communicate a complete concept. Except for “Fyre is an experience and a festival”, which is such a general statement as to be meaningless. Any media outlet which actually cared about consumers would IMO require advertisers to use complete sentences which make specific claims of what is being offered. But as you notice, nobody does. The constellations in the sky are drawn by connecting the dots upon the face of an acne-riddled teen.
People being spoiled doesn’t have anything to do with desire. Being spoiled is a matter of feelings of entitlement. If food,shelter, sanitation, and safety were truly so important to these people, then why didn’t they do their homework to make certain that these things would be provided? All the sympathy and empathy in the world does very little to help people who can’t be bothered to actually read their mortgage, employment, or cell phone contracts instead of relying upon much prettier glossy brochures made by advertisers.
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Part of me wants to believe that there are cameras hidden all over the island. The private live stream is being watched at a members-only club in Dubai by even richer kids, who are laughing their asses off.
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Oh please, these vapid brain-dead bastards of social media wouldn’t know how to be real hedonists if Aristippus, Allan Carr, Keith Richards and John Waters gave them an acid-fueled weekend seminar in how to look up from their gold-plated iPhones and see life with their own eyes.
Oh I’m winning. This was just the guilt-free pick-me-up I needed after a long week.
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Delivered, they have.
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Some would pay extra for that.
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What kind of lousy private island even has natives?
Isn’t the whole point of having a private island to ensure that everyone is either a sycophant, in livery and attending to your whims; or a legitimate target for a fine game of ‘release the hounds!’?
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That was the beauty of ordering stuff out of a comic book. You’d save your money and send off to get xray specs…or the submarine that shoots ‘real missiles’ only to find out it was cardboardbox.
After that you developed a healthy distrust of advertisers.
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Apparenly Ja Rule and his accomplices in this con played a little fast and loose with the concepts of “private” and “island.”
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Well, there goes my faith in the geospatial intelligence of washed up entertainment personalities. Now what?
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I finally remembered what this reminds me of - Terry Southern’s novel, The Magic Christian. It’s a cruise ship, not an island, and the novel includes potatoes and menacing dwarves.
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Just claim it was a (seriously unethical) performance art piece.
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I have often feared that I have a pitifully small soul. I am ashamed to have it confirmed.
Because this makes me smile. Poor rich people. :crocodile tears:
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They weren’t clever enough for that. 
Your arch-nemesis is young Karl Rove with a time machine.
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They certainly used words with plentiful wiggle room for interpretation, but the reality clearly falls well outside that wiggle room. Even "gourmet’ isn’t entirely divorced of meaning - certainly providing something that only just meets the bare minimum for being described as “food” doesn’t reasonably qualify. It sounds like they fell down at multiple points in meeting their obligations to a degree that goes well beyond simple incompetence (although there seems to have been plenty of that, too).
The fact that it’s so ridiculously fraudulent makes it all the funnier given the obvious extreme privilege of those attending.
That does sound highly entertaining, and I’m not even particularly a John Waters fan. Although if I’m going to be honest, putting my genitals in a vice sounds better than “luxury festival in the Bahamas”.
(Isn’t “camp John Waters” kind of redundant, though?)
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Did you say “walk”?
nearly shudders the American Express Black card out of his wallet
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It was organic, hand-grown and full of anti-oxidants. Can’t you see that?
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I found this article amusing.
They mention scavenger hunts. They didn’t mention it was for the locals only.
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I think these people were not really “extremely privileged” at all. People who are really so, don’t read advertisements in the first place. I have spent some time as a boat valet, here and in the south of France and the Med. Really privileged people spend their time going between each others yachts and homes. And having been part of the reception crew for guests arriving, if everything is not exactly so, (i.e. when a motor won’t start on the tender, or it is simply raining outside the airport doors) the guests are more likely to laugh and call a limousine and just go somewhere else.
It started to rain hard once, and three cars turned up at once to the dockyard. We had only X number of staff with umbrellas. Rather than wait five minutes, the third car simply drove off, taking its guests back to their hotel. Talking it over with the car company, the guest saw they would have to wait, and simply said “I am not waiting, go back”.
“The “chartered flight from Miami” turned out to be severely delayed coach seats”.
Properly privileged people wouldn’t have got on the connecting flight when it wasn’t perfect.
These were merely wealthy kids who wanted IN on privilege, and had only the money for it, not the connections to it.
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Even more amazing when you realize the video was 100% stock footage. Yea, the ad agency had absolutely no idea what they were advertising.
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