1980s toys that will not be reborn


Queen Scowlene.

The question of what I will be this Halloween has just been answered.

Also Golden Girl and the Guardians of the Gemstones sound pretty cool. Why did they never succeed? Is there some kind of conspiracy to keep girls away from any toy that might teach them bad habits like independence or critical thinking?

Bullocks! A Police Academy reboot is just plain inevitable.

1 Like

One of the i09 commenters mentioned that they forgot to include Arm Ants. Seemed like a stupid toy to me, but the commercial jingle still pops into my head sometime.

1 Like

I remember about half of these. Fragments of the Moondreamers and Visionairies cartoon series have somehow persisted in memory.

I had lots of fun with the Starcom toys as a lad. They were pretty cool – all magnets and surprisingly durable spring mechanisms – and I didn’t even know there was a cartoon series until I tried to look it up just now. The flaw, of course, is that it would be a struggle to come up with anything more generic.

And of course there’s Captain Power, but apparently a revival of that is already well underway…

Hah! I was just thinking about that the other day. “Grab the eggs!”

1 Like

What is that thing? A vomit soldier?

It’s a pizza slice from Food Fighters, if you can’t actually tell. Pizza can be tricky that way, amirite?

1 Like

this might seem unrelated but every-night i get down on my knees and pray to Jesus that michael bay will someday make a dino riders movie

1 Like

Wow. Now that’s a franchise I had forgotten as completely as possible.

1 Like

Also not scheduled to be brought back are the Uncle Billy’s World of Ptomaine Cooking Set, Exploding Turtles and the infamous Lead Frisbee.

I loved the Ring Raiders as a kid. Not because of the rings - those were bullshit (and easily detachable) - but because back then, it was pretty much the only reliable way to get relatively well-made, cool-looking and most importantly cheap “play-size” miniatures of military jets, at least here in Germany.
The Micro Machines line didn’t get extended until the early 90s, when they started to produce their seriously cool lines of sci-fi/movie tie-in miniatures. But before that, it was either horrible cheap crap, or hobby kits - no middle ground except Ring Raiders.


Definitely, the Ring Raiders were nice toys.

Although, “ring” means something different in the Commonwealth countries, so there was much snickering about the name.

My like is for your response, but in no way is intended to endorse the idea of Pizza Vomit Man!

Sylvanian Families reboot!

wait. oh.

How the hell did dino-riders not succeed? It’s like the ultimate boy cartoon. You have giant dinosaurs, things blowing up, and space aliens fighting all in one package.

About all that’s missing are ninjas and I think that’s only because the franchise didn’t last long enough.

I live in a Commonwealth country and I have no idea what you are talking about.

“Ring” as in “ringpiece”.

Canada is a part of the commonwealth, and doesn’t use that slang.

1 Like

Well, it did coincide with the Golden Girls, which couldn’t have boosted its appeal to kids.

1 Like