8' long, 26lb, 36K calorie gummy snake


36M calorie? Or 36K Calorie?

Also, ick.


Keep it in a temperature and humidity controlled environment, like a herpetarium :wink: , and put it on display in the front room!

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Do you have to feed it these?

Aside: some friends of mine have a snake; which means they have to buy frozen mice to feed it. One drunken evening, my buddy ate one that had been sitting out defrosting, just because.

His good lady wife was not impressed with him.


Now let me think… Who do I hate, who has kids that I could send this to?


What would Wilford Brimley say?


I know what my kid is getting in his Easter basket!

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Good question. Because we’ve got not way to tell if they mean /actual/ calories or are mislabeling kilocalories as most companies seem to.

If it’s 60% water:

26 lbs / snake * 1/2.2 kg lb-1 * 0.6 * 1000 g kg-1 * 5 kcal / g sugar = 35,454 kcal/snake


That is hero grade. He should be knighted with a beer bong.


Their FAQ is pretty humorous

Q: How do you eat it?
A: Like a boss!

Q: How much alchohol would be required to completely infuse the gummy python?
A: All of the alcohol.


I got my sister one of those 10lb gummy bears. She lost a filling eating it. Mostly because she insisted on eating it by biting into it directly and tearing off large chunks. She scoffed when her room mate told her to cut it into bite sized chunks.


I came to the comment section just to see if someone else had seen fit to comment on the K/M issue. And well of course they have.


Drape it around the shoulders of a gummi Venus de Milo for some truly sexy gelatin-based photos.

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Is it too late to mention that somebody just had a birthday?

Yeah, I’d totally eat this.


A slightly smaller, blue gummy snake has one of the best reviews ever posted on Amazon:



So not kosher or halal; is that because it’s made with rendered pork gelatin or just because the manufacture wasn’t under a rabbi’s or an imam’s supervision?

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Pork gelatin.

From the website:

Question: Is it kosher, halal, or vegetarian? Answer: No. The gelatin is from a pork source.

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26 pounds of spackle.

eew. And double eew. (this being said as a “reptile guy” and as a veterinarian…)

Methinks it wouldn’t be a bad idea for your friend to submit some feces to his favorite doctor to check for assorted parasitic protozoa and helminths (many of which can survive the freezing/thawing sequence and survive [if only in egg form] in a dead animal’s GI tract.).