A Calvinesque and Hobbesian Look at the Very Stable Genius of Donald Trump


#1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/01/09/a-calvinesque-and-hobbesian-lo.html

Tom the Dancing Bug, IN WHICH the boy president Donald Trump and his imaginary publicist John Miller convince the world that little Donald is a very stable genius.


#2

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#3

It’s pretty scary to contemplate that in a phone conversation between Trump and Kim, Kim will probably sound like the adult.


#4

I really wish people on Twitter would stop warning of the perils of Trump talking to Mueller. I mean, they’re right of course, but he’s the one person I want to make that mistake.


#5

I don’t think he’ll be given a choice, TBH. Written responses are generally only allowed in cases where the testimony of the person is of lower value than their time (e.g. a trauma surgeon being sued over 2 inches of fence line placement would usually be allowed to give written responses, or a celebrity on tour and being questioned over some relatively minor civil suit).

For something where the security of the free world is at stake… Yeah, that doesn’t quite meet that bar.


#6

As long as people keep telling trump he’s too stupid/not brave enough to face Mueller, he’ll go straight for it :slight_smile:


#7

It is worthwhile to review previous Trump depositions and counter his evasion techniques. eg bring reading glasses for him or print any material that you want him to comment on in large type.


#8

But his Twitter and TV news watching time is important State sponsored work!


#9

Makes me nauseous knowing Trump is arguing to attack N.Korea right now…


#10

Do we know his prescription? Is it publicly available?


#11

Oh you youngs! Reading glasses aren’t prescription, they’re just straight magnification.


#12

Bless you, dear, for calling me “young.” Compared to Trump, maybe. Meanwhile, my reading glasses definitely are prescription. At least that’s what my optician calls the printout listing the diopters and whatnot; I don’t know if they call it something different in other parts of the world.


#13

“OH, how long can trusty President Stumpy hold out? HOW can he possibly resist the diabolical urge to press the button that could erase our very existence? … The beautiful, SHINY button! The jolly, CANDY-LIKE button!!”


#14

I was thinking that Mueller could bring one of every prescription from .50 to 4.00. But if Trump pulls the “reading glasses” thing, Mueller should first ask what his prescription is, then bring out the glasses. That way, Trump couldn’t say, “Oh, mine are special and you don’t have mine”.


#15

I keep seeing the argument that having a mental disorder does not necessarily mean a president should be removed from office and then they talk about Reagan and Clinton and so on. That may be so, but in this particular case, the man is batshit crazy and should be removed from office.

What are they saying, that just because it doesn’t necessarily mean he should be removed that he gets a pass?


#16

It’s funny because OH GOD WE’RE ALL DOOMED


#17

I’m not usually a fan of twitter, but saw this on another site, and well…

(sung to the tune of “Modern Major General”)

I am the very model of a Very Stable Genius.
I have a mighty button and no problems with my penius.
I have no time for television, golf, or social media
Since my brain is way way better than the best encyclopedia.
— bob (@huntthesnark) January 6, 2018

I like to tweet the lies of racist grievances historical
When Russian ties are mentioned I deny them categorical
I do not feel the sting of words because I am avenious
I am the very model of a Very Stable Genius!
— C. B. Wright (A Madman Unhing'd) (@ubersoft) January 6, 2018

I am the very model of a man who is, like, very smart.....
Many people see my brain and say it's like a work of art.....
My daddy, he did nuclear; he truly knew things myriad.....
And when I type ellipsis I use far too many periods.....
— carl mitchell (@Carl_Astro) January 6, 2018

I'm very well aquainted, too, with matters economical,
I understand the 1% must have tax that is nominal,
About two-state solutions I am teeming with a lot 'o nukes (a lot o' nukes)
And all the generals crap their pants and wonder if we need a coup.
— Kyle (@DrKyle) January 6, 2018

I like to say I’m smart because it makes me feel superior
but all my words and phrases seem to come from my posterior
I swear I have no problems either physical or medical
I am the very model of a modern major genital
— Todd Chappelle (@ToddChappelle) January 7, 2018

An amateur's addition:
My toadies all look up to me, in worship they're obsequious
My MAGA hordes adore my mane and praise my bigly prescience
They care not that I slander, lie, defame or that I’m odious
A genius I’m not, I am a traitor quite felonious
— GOPLogic (@GOPExplained) January 7, 2018

I'm very well acquainted too with matters immigrational
My genitals are massive and my hairpiece is sensational
My tiny hands are frozen, I will warm them with a grabby feel
(grabby feel..grabby feel..Ah! I have it!)
And fill my greasy mouth with yet another Mackie's Happy Meal
— Damian Feeney (@damianfeeney) January 6, 2018

I have around me sycophants
And a modern major general
On the pot, at night I tweet
With logic that's ephemeral
I get to skate on crimes that
Others normally find hein-ious
I am the very model of a Very Stable Genious
— Clayton Haapala (@chaapala) January 6, 2018

When I became the President it wasn't what I meant to do.
I wanted to enjoy the fame and maybe make a mill or two.
I went to all the rallies which felt like a public pillory
And tried intimidating the appalling Crooked Hilary!
— Robert Cragg #FBPE (@RobertCragg) January 6, 2018

My hands, they gesture swiftly to obscure my digits minuscule.
I’ll whine an edict, sign a law, and brag how I was smart in school.
Aesthetically, I fancy colors gilded and adorned in golds.
In bed I lay while dripping burger sauce into my belly folds.
— Benjamin Schrader (@schrader99) January 7, 2018

Nice! Ok I'll bite: "Each evening I tune into my big screen televisions (three!) 

I curse those louts on CNN and writers of the NYT
They cast aspersions on my name and those of all my relatives
I block them out with folders full of praise and facts alternative!"
— Meredith (@mezosaurus) January 7, 2018

I am large and I am orange and my hair is all original.
I have no time for anyone who is vaguely aboriginal.
My enemies are guilty, all, of crimes most dark and heinous.
I am the very model of a Very Stable Genuous.
— paul dennis (@trypewriter01) January 6, 2018

And they keep adding to it!
Brilliant!


#18

#19

DId you hear about the Optometrist who fell into the lens grinder?

Made a spectacle of herself.

Thank you, Im here all week.


#20

I think it’s safe to assume he’s acutely myopic.