A horn-shaped Viking mug for your coffee

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2016/08/08/a-horn-shaped-viking-mug-for-y.html

Just an FYI: your coffee will never taste right out of this unless it was roasted in the heat of a village you pillaged and burned yourself(you don’t have to solo it, doing it with your host of berserkers is OK; but you definitely have to be there and participating).

Obviously, if you are worthy of such a mug, that won’t be a problem.

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"So, I was thinking to my self: this insulated cup keeps my coffee pretty hot, it fits in my cup holder arm rest in my car, and it is pretty stable sitting on my desk.

"But what if I didn’t want this level of practicality in my life? Plus, even though one can see I am drinking from an expensive Yeti container, does is accurately describe my level of being a douchebag? I mean, I look just like everyone else walking around with a normal insulated container of coffee.

"Then it hit me! Why not put in a HORN container? You know, the type of container that was regulated to holding gun powder after people invented cups, and now a days are only seen at Viking themed frat parties and canoe trips!

"The cross body carry will go prefect with my Utilikilt. AND since it is by my heart, I can actually warm my coffee with my love for Valhalla.

“I can even use its holder to make my horn into a cup like device that holds much less liquid. Granted I have to carry the horn AND the horn holder if I go to a meeting or to someone else’s desk, unless I want to hold it the entire time. But really this is a small price to pay for all the attention I will get.”

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But it is cool tho.

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Six months from now, archeologists will conduct an extensive study of America’s Williamsburg’s landfills and marvel at the once ubiquitous Viking Mug.

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I hope your given name is something like Fenrir Stormthighs.

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The stand is cheating, though. The whole point of a drinking horn is that you have to finish it before putting it down…

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It’s nice but I’m holding out for the spill-proof jewel-encrusted flagon.

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and drunk out of the skulls of your slain foes

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Sure, it’s ridiculous, but in this day and age, is it ridiculous enough?

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I think the skulls are for mead rather than coffee. My understanding is that the Viking Lifestyle follows approximately this itinerary:

  1. Repose in barbaric splendor amidst heaps of furs and plunder in your longhouse.
  2. Awaken, drink deeply from coffee horn.
  3. Summon warband with fierce shouts and/or the magnetic charisma granted by superiority over lesser men.
  4. Commute to coastal village and/or monastery. Commuting sucks.
  5. Plunder, roast tomorrow’s coffee, harvest skulls.
  6. Commute, commuting sucks.
  7. Drink from mead skulls until you find yourself at step #1.
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Does no one care that Eric The Red is rolling over in Valhalla?

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With a dragon!

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“Yeah, I’m going to see my favorite band tonight. They’re called ‘The Lamentations of the Women’. You probably never heard of it.”

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I think for the modern hip viking as imaged in the article 3. is done with the help of a magical tele-speech apple

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Darn it, I should have held out for a chalice with a palace!

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I’ve given up on travel mugs. Neither coffee nor tea ever tastes right drinking from them. Travel carafes, heck yes. But for drinking, I’ll stick to open mugs/cups, ceramic or paper only.

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I personally use and endorse this one:

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