A round up of Trumpian events 🖕🍊🤡

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Well, who doesn’t like cake?

TRUMP: I was sitting at the table. We had finished dinner. We’re now having dessert. And we had the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake that you’ve ever seen, and President Xi was enjoying it. And I was given the message from the generals that the ships are locked and loaded, what do you do? And we made a determination to do it, so the missiles were on the way. And I said, Mr. President, let me explain something to you — this was during dessert — we’ve just fired 59 missiles, all of which hit, by the way, unbelievable, from, you know, hundreds of miles away, all of which hit, amazing.

BARTIROMO: Unmanned?

TRUMP: It’s so incredible. It’s brilliant. It’s genius. Our technology, our equipment, is better than anybody by a factor of five. I mean look, we have, in terms of technology, nobody can even come close to competing. … So what happens is, I said we’ve just launched 59 missiles heading to Iraq and I wanted you to know this. And he was eating his cake. And he was silent.

BARTIROMO: Heading to Syria?

TRUMP: Yes. Heading toward Syria. In other words, we’ve just launched 59 missiles heading toward Syria. And I want you to know that, because I didn’t want him to go home. We were almost finished. It was a full day in Palm Beach. We’re almost finished and I — what does he do, finish his dessert and go home and then they say, you know, the guy you just had dinner with just attacked a country?

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Which is a good thing, because if they hadn’t hit something they might still be aimlessly flying around to this day…

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I really wish I could like that post.

Actually, more than “wishing I could like that post”, I wish I could shake the idea that he had a clearly-visible erection while he recounted that anecdote.

Christ, what an asshole.

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Iraq, Syria, you know, one of those places…

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Oh wait! I completely missed that. HOLY SHIT! I have to watch the video now.

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Better check to see if any Iberian villages are missing.

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LuLz! I was so fascinated by his dessert I completely missed the slip up there.

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Not to worry. Just a senior moment. Right?

(not you. HIM!)

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#nottheinion

I was a bit shocked (just a bit, mind you) that this wasn’t from a parody web site.

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What if he gave orders to somebody that didn’t dare question him?

(I guess Donald and I have the same weakness when it comes to chocolate.)

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To be fair, I’d take Hacksaw Jim Dugan as president over the current one any day!

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To be fair, it wasn’t that long ago when groups like the ELF were very active and did bomb some places (go watch the If a Tree Should Fall documentary, which tells how the federal government took out a group of ELF members in the late 90s for some propaganda of the deed in the 90s).

They never attacked people, but given the rollbacks to environmental protections they are promising, I can see it really pushing some on the fringe of the environmental movement over the edge here.

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To be fair, I’m sounding like an echo.

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Right. They might get more creative than say burning down ski resort lodges.

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So he likes cake and advanced technology, huh?

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I mean, it could just be paranoia or for show on his part (“look how much the left hates me! I’m so radical, undoing the damage done by environmental regulation, blah, blah, blahshit!”). Or there could be some actual threats. I’d also say that many of the folks involved are either still in jail, on probation, or have moved on with their lives.

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“What security menace is Pruitt guarding against? According to Myron Ebell, who led Trump’s EPA transition team but is no longer employed by the administration, Pruitt is at risk from his own employees—and “the left.”” -Qz

Commies are coming to get me!

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At Mar-a-Lago, Trump sends a secret service agent for more cake and tells the waiter to dispatch an armada to North Korea but it’s OK, they sort it out between themselves.

“We are sending an armada. Very powerful,” Mr Trump told Fox Business Network. "We have submarines. Very powerful. Far more powerful than the aircraft carrier. That I can tell you.”

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Well, there goes the SLBM Suprise! Way to go Donnie.

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