After Trumpcare kills you, this service will send your cremains to the GOP lawmaker of your choosing


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/06/29/republican-ash-holes.html


#2

How much extra for someone to personally dump the ashes over their heads?


#3

wow, this sure helps move things in the right direction eyes roll onto floor


#4

Well, it offers infestimally more dignity and control over our destiny than the miserable white raisins in office have deigned to provide us. I think I will sign up.


#5

It may very well move things in the right direction. It seems they’ve forgotten what it means to kill a few tens of thousands of people.


#6

Premature. McConnell had to hold off because some of those lawmakers fear that voting for this piece of shite will mean they’ll be out of office long before the cremains can be delivered.


#7

But they are, as Scrooge said, the “surplus population.”


#8

I really think the GOP would rather have you alive. How else are they going to harvest your soul for their demonic rituals?


#9

This will accomplish nothing. Even if several boxes of ashes roll in every day, the mail clerk will not deliver them to the boss. The mail clerk will not even tell the boss. Somebody in charge of PR might quietly make another tick mark on a count of boxes of the dead, but nobody will ever consult that count.

Somebody in the office will call up MSNBC to leak this terrible news, and MSNBC will look into it and decide it’s not interesting enough to make the news. Maybe there will be a paragraph on the website.


#10

How about this?


#11

This is a stupid, terrible idea that is great.


#12


#13

Yeah, kinda like glitter bombing; except way less sparkly.

I’ll happily accept other auto-distribution methods as a substitute, just so long as the asshole recipients end up covered with and breathing in the earthly remains of someone that they helped kill with their mindless greed and apathy.


#14

Screw ashes; too nice. I’d rather they take my month-old, smelly, maggot-filled rotting body and slap 'em across the face with it.


#15

Fuck that, I’ve got some remains sitting right here on the mantle whose prior corpus might still be around if health insurance were affordable. I’ll bet there’s more than a few others around!


#16

How about they superheat my cremains to the point where they slag, then pour them in a mold, say a 30 caliber mold. At that point, someone should be sure to deliver my remains really really quickly, as it’s obviously an important message.

I think roughly 2700ft/sec would probably be fast enough.


#17

Just give them to the free market.

Cut all government aid to republican voters, mortgages, student loans, business loans, etc. And sell the bill for the collateral they would have had to come up with if they were borrowing from the actual free market to a debt collector.

Also, deregulate the shit out of any contracts they are entered in. Especially their health insurance.

The market would consume them completely until they would even have to sell their precious gun collections to eat.


#18

Nah…it’s what they are calling ‘fake news’…


#19

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