Yep. His lawyer might have had a shot with the “he’s a performance artist who’s not as crazy as he looks” argument if Jones hadn’t immediately stormed out into the parking lot and publicly streamed a video insisting “I AM TOO THIS CRAZY!”
Or tried his best to come off as an utter loon up on the witness stand, stating that he had a poor memory about pertinent facts because he ate chili, that he smokes marijuana to “monitor its strength” in his ongoing research to prove that George Soros has made marijuana stronger to brainwash kids, and he bragged about having sex with 150+ women before the age of 16.
…doesn’t a hologram of a mathematical equation of something with that much data create, mathematically, its own mass and create a distortion mirror of the sub key uh a projection of the dark matter coding…
Cloud people? He was probably tripping to old Saturday morning cartoons!
[inhales deeply]
Nope, not strong enough. Alex Jones still sounds like nonsense to me. More please.
George Soros. Is there nothing he can’t or won’t do?
Most guys stop doing that once they’re outed as a liar. Or when they actually turn 16. Whichever comes first.
What’s really amazing – and what makes it the most Alex Jonesiest thing ever – is that during his trial to prove his competence as a father, he filmed an episode of his show in which he declared he was going to draw a diagram live on air PROVING that Sandy Hook was a government conspiracy, but as he started, he got sidetracked and started talking about how much sex he had as a teenager, and it became a diagram about the evolution of Alex Jones’ manliness.
source: AV Club
If he’d worked in chemtrails and lizard people it would’ve been a perfect capsule summary of Mr Jones.
I have often thought that there is a LOT of money to be made selling stuff to gullible Right-Wingers (like Rush does-ties, coffee cups, subscriptions, etc.) but in my mind it was always stuff that, ostensibly, had value. It never occurred to me that, because these people are so easily manipulated, you could sell them crap that has no value.
This is why I’ll never be rich.
Never underestimate the power of stupidity…especially that of Alex Jones fans marks.
Pretty good parody of Jones’ gullible Smurfs – I’m sure that they actually use the term “liberal freaks”. Welcome to BoingBoing, comrade!
But he yells all the time. Surely that indicates his vital male vitality!
/s
And here I was, merely taking large-dose niacin for my cholesterol* like a chump.
*(It didn’t help. I can vouch about the flushing, though.)
That’s not conventional stupidity. That’s like two chunks of plutonium stupid slapped together by high explosive stupid.
Glenn Beck does the same thing. My favorite are the “seed banks” these guys sell.
I love the mental picture of a couple and their two children crawling out of their air raid shelter after the nuclear cataclysm. pale and squinty-eyed, they look with wonder at the sun for the first time in 6 months. then, they set to work: planting corn, tomatoes, rutabega, carrots. yes, civilization will start again.
That’s the “dream” Glenn Beck and Jones are selling to their audience. Dream big!
Everybody’s child is potentially nasty.
His certainly start with a disadvantage tough…
I know, but guess what?
If I’d actually placed the hyphen like so: nasty-child custody…
your joke would…might’ve been funny.
Sorry, but that’s the way it is.