Alex Jones' phone contains ‘intimate messages with Roger Stone,' says Sandy Hook lawyer

Originally published at: Alex Jones' phone contains 'intimate messages with Roger Stone,' says Sandy Hook lawyer | Boing Boing

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Alex grunted as he came inside Roger, loading him with two thumping heaves of his stocky body. Even as the bigger man uttered an exhausted bovine moan, Roger continued masturbating. His hand accelerated as he felt Alex lose tumescence. “No,” whined Roger, grinding his teeth. Desperation set in. As Roger’s masturbatory pace increased to a relentless fury, his Zolmat Moscot spectacles slid down the sweat-slick slope of his nose. “What’s wrong, Roger?” Alex said, gruffly. “Why can’t you cum, Roger?”

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Can we get a noads tag here?

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And the whole time Alex was looking Nixon in the eyes.

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Cecily Strong Snl GIF

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ROFL. I just cannot click on the heart tho.

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…told a Texas judge today that morning…

Reading this broke my brain for a second and now I’m questioning my English skills.

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My libido just dried up entirely and blew away in the breeze created by the involuntary gagging. On the up-side, that boring spreadsheet task I’ve been dreading is looking more and more appealing. So, thanks?

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I am guilty of taking great pleasure in and encouraging the continuation of Mark’s bizarre, serialized story from the product review articles a little while back. I will humbly ask that Rob not do this ever again. Or that we at least add the opposite of a heart button and let mutants click as many times as we like.

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Needs a WARNING: SOILERS tag. Please. For the love of god!

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“It is a mistake to fancy that horror is associated inextricably with darkness, silence, and solitude”

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There’s also Arby’s.

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Chuck Tingle better watch his back, Rob’s going to give him some competition.

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Missed opportunity, there.

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I need to pour bleach in my mind’s eye now.

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I was going to beg him to go back to the mouth-eyes ‘shoops, but then imagined how that could easily go horribly wrong…

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