Americans are coronavirus panic-buying spiral hams and oatmilk

I’m traveling to Ireland to visit my good friend Patty O’Furniture.


The Dear Wife just made real butter milk corn bread muffins with pecorino cheese mixed in, 48 ain’t enough, need to add a zero to the number.


My younger brother was peanut butter or French fries only when he was that age. I think he grew out of it trying new things after kindergarten.


You might want to include an excursion to La Bodega where you may find wine that is far superior to paint stripper. For those who don’t mind the climb, Attica is great place to get away from it all.

Obligatory tune:


Beyond burgers totally stocked. All other (actual) meat, totally gone. That tells you something I guess.

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Is a general food topic good enough for you?


Sounds good!


i looked at a spiral ham today, in Trader Joe’s (after the 1/2 hour wait in a widely spaced line to get in). i decided that $50ish was better spent on various whiskeys, beers and wines. i am almost certain i will not regret that decision.


Is spiral ham carved in a spiral? What difference does that make?

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  • One person is vegan, another isn’t.
  • Someone is lactose intolerant but not vegetarian
  • Someone who isn’t vegetarian just wanted to try oat milk
  • Oat milk lasts longer than other milks, so it’s better for single people who don’t drink much milk
  • See above, but better for hoarders :face_with_raised_eyebrow: as is spiral ham

Also keep in mind that Easter is nine days earlier than it was last year, and people don’t really cook spiral ham when it isn’t Christmas or Easter, and that oat milk is way more popular now than it was last year.

All the bodegas around here are still fully stocked.

Bagged beans and rice, assuming I still had access to clean water. Anything in a can, and most things in a jar, regardless.

I ventured out the other day, and those were the exact meat options I had available. I got chicken thighs and a pound of Beyond Meat.

Weird juxtaposition there.

But yes, the toilet paper shortage is well documented, and since everybody’s using Zoom because of this crisis, everybody needs webcams now.


Yes - none of it is hard to explain except the toilet roll - I just don’t get why that’s where people’s minds go in a crisis like this, and I’m told it takes less than 48 hours to manufacture and ship. Some people are buying a LOT more toilet paper than usual. It’s not the first time it’s happened either.

And now we’re in a feedback loop, and EVERYONE is buying it when they see it, whether they need it or not.


I have not read her latest book (see below, which is my reason for posting) but she is quite famous over here and I encourage you to read about how that came to be. Also read about how she took down a noted and hated UK right wing piece of shit in the courts.

Anyway, back to the book, which is the one book the world needs right now:

bringing together seventy-five recipes that you can rustle up from tinned and dried ingredients. If you’ve ever struggled to make a dish because the recipe calls for an exotic ingredient you’ve never heard of, then this is the book for you. Jack does away with the effort; all her dishes are exciting and new, but you won’t have to look further than your local supermarket to make them.


Thinking about unlikely combinations is my go-to technique for brainstorming ideas, in the manner of Arthur Koestler, who argues, in The Act of Creation, that creativity emerges from the juxtaposition and integration of disparates. (Puns, for example.)

In refrigerators we find a rich set of juxtapositionables at the crossroads of Food and Marketing. It’s hilarity-ready!

(Memo to self: stop buying Lunchables, get Juxtapositionables instead.)



Please reconsider the framing - the problem isn’t Americans, panic-buyers, hoarders, or otherwise - but rather the fragility of a just-in-time food system that is exposed when probable and actual demand no longer align. Ex.
Let’s let each other off the hook a bit more - we’re all neighbours, after all!


Yes. This is humanism.


I had a text conversation yesterday with an older person who was looking for catfood to feed feral cats. They’re a shut-in who can’t get around easily & has multiple food allergies. They’re caring for someone who can’t leave their bed. They said no neighbors, friends or community outreach had contacted them & they were planning to fast through the shelter-in-place order but didn’t want the kitties to suffer. I was able to hook them up with a local food bank, & with a neighbor who is offering to shop for folks for free. Please, reach out today to somebody who might need help.


I dunno about you, fellow shop owners, but I don’t report shit to neal’s son. That kid is useless, all he does is draw on the walls and steal my butterscotch.

ALso spiral ham is gross. Oat milk you can make using a blender, oats and water. I like a little MSG in mine to spice it up a bit!

Yeah, I can’t get flour or yeast.

It’s a weird feeling after living in this country after 50+ years and now having this much trouble buying fucking yeast.


Didn’t you stock up on millstones and 3 to 6 months of groats ?

Frobozz can’t provide everything.