Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/04/18/ancient-bad-ass-had-knife-for.html
…
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…Groovy.
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He killed himself the first time he tried to pee while drunk…
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Who’s laughing now?
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Wow, I thought “knife-for-hand” was something that only happened in literally every single Dungeons and Dragons campaign I’ve ever been involved with.
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Came for Evil Dead references, leaving satisfied.
T US 380 definitely wasn’t Ash, though. No boom-stick.
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Somewhere I cam across a catalog of occupational prostheses that included things like big carving knives that could be attached.
Sadly, neither chainsaws (Evil Dead) or flame throwers (Kentucky Fried Movie) were included.
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Or he could have just been a butcher by trade.
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Gotta cut your steak somehow.
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Groovy with the Ash references.
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What about the Merl references?
- How can we not have pics of this? Really want to know what kind of knife.
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What can go wrong? Gee, my eye itches… AAarrrrgghhhhhh!
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I bet that guy’s wife never nagged him about changing their infants’ diapers.
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Nor machine guns? (Grindhouse)
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Are we sure he wasn’t just an early pirate?
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It was all good until he had to scratch his ass.
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A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!”
“Arrh – Not at ‘tall.” the pirate replies, “I be fine.” The bartender says, “But what about that wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.”
“Arrh!,” says the pirate, “We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit me leg. But the surgeon fixed me up, and I be fine, really.”
“Yeah,” says the bartender, “But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands.”
“Aye,” says the pirate, “We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and me hand was cut off. But the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I be feeling great, really.”
“Oh,” says the bartender, “What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes.”
“Arrh,” says the pirate, “One day when I was swabbing me deck, some gulls were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them–arrgh, he, pooped–in me eye.”
“So?” replied the bartender, “what happened? You couldn’t have lost an eye just from that!”
“Well,” says the pirate, "'Twas me first day with me hook.”
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I mean, Ash is awesome, and Merle was a dick? 
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Because that was a leg?
@anon61221983: I think I like Space Merle better than knife-hand Merle. Space Merle’s kind of an asshole, but knife-hand Merle is a total dick.
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