From what some other trans people have told me it’s a problem regarding choice and agency. Transgendered implies that someone else made them that way, and this is a huge problem for people who have their identities denied on a regular basis, and previously had false identities forced on them by other people.
If you have a problem with using transgender, then try to use trans or transgender people, and it’s ok to make mistakes as long as you apologise when it is noticed.
Yeahbut someone did that already…someone really should unfuck the mother in this case.
And it also with trans people. If there is one trans person in a family there is an increased chance that another child (of either birth sex) will also be trans. I know a few people who are trans who also have trans brothers or sisters, or cousins.
I don’t know if the story is true, but I have heard of one quiverfull family who had disowned three of their children who were trans women. When their youngest child, who had been brought up supposedly isolated from the “evil” world, also announced they were a trans woman then the parents finally realised that they had made a mistake.
I hope that’s true. Of course, it would have been better if they had not been bigots and abusive to their children in the first place, but if a family that’s so ideologically blinkered and right-wing radical can eventually come to terms with their children’s realities, maybe others can as well.
I don’t really mean to say that all hope is lost for everyone over 30. If you really want to change someone’s mind the best way to do it is by having them actually meet people from the group they have prejudices towards. But I also think for a lot of people racism/sexist/homophobia aren’t really that important to them. Sure, they may be racist, but they don’t value the importance of being racist, and they’d stop being racist if something more important came along. Same with homophobia, lots of homophobic people have a turnaround when they find out their kids are gay. If it hadn’t been other things, your grandfather might have come around (at least most of the way around) on racism when he met his half-Ethiopian great grandchildren.
But when someone is going to a big box store to yell at strangers about the evils of homosexuality, I’m okay with writing them off as a lost cause. For some people, it’s not just that they are homophobic, it’s that homophobia gets top billing in their minds, it’s the ballot issue. Hey, I might be wrong about this particular woman, but obviously a lot of people are not going to change their minds within their lifetime, and the older you get the more likely you are to have “permanently” fixed your values.
If you can’t get past your prejudices for your own children you are really a lost cause.
Edit: I had to manually edit the quote information, it kept saying I was quoting someone from another thread. I hope it worked.
Well played.
I was part of a SAP horror story. The system vendor had to retract the press release with the proud headline “First operational SAP installation with duty roster management in a hospital” after we canceled the HR part of the implementation and bought a working software. (cause of my first grey hairs…)
Thank you. 
Personal experiance. Mostly from trying to be someone my nephew can come to without feeling like he’ll have a coal scuttle full of anvil drumped on his head while still trying to steer him into being proactive about life? If people don’t like you they’ll find ways to segregate you from their kids. The trick, one i haven’t quite picked up on, is how to appear like a non-threa while still teaching progressive values, or at least be a source of comfort when someone feels likeall they have to see in meatspace is examples of how they’re wicked/weak/stupid.
Those kids need someone like that, because goddamned that woman has problems. I wish she could get help and those kids could be put in a more positive enviroment.
If she’s quiverful though it’s likely she’s dirt poor (the duggers are a shit example precicely because they have money. Most quiverful don’t because that money literally gets eaten up by the kids.) I just… y’know. it’s a shitty situation to see the font of hate and not be able to stop it.
It’s far worse when that person identifies as a group you feel you’re part of (christianity in my case) and seeing the ideology you saw focused on love and help and tolerance used to spew toxicity. The world’s shit as is, please stop making it worse.
Love your neighbor as yourself…
So they all have self-esteem issues?
Yeah, you’re right. I suppose gripe is more with “cranky religious people”.
Sadly, I think you’re probably right. Whatever bigoted attitudes my grandfather had, his acting on them went as far as yelling at the TV etc. (and in that context he could be very vocal about whatever pissed him off). However, he didn’t make a vocation (nor even a hobby) out of it.
You’re so cute!
Did you hear about the hep-cat cannibal?
He ate three squares a day.
As in, the Buddhists and Taoists that I personally know.
Are there hateful angry lunatics within any given religious group?
It’s very likely, considering what we know about human nature.
And thanks;
I am, aren’t I?
The peers I grew up with by and large are pretty progressive. There are absolutely some exceptions. But we were all born and raised in the Bay Area.
My wife is from a small town in the midwest - the reactionary/progressive pie chart of her facebook friends from that part of the world looks a little different than mine.
I enjoyed watching friends move from left to right as they graduated university and started paying income taxes.
FTA, “This is not a problem with the SAP software itself…” Because SAP can’t fail. Only we can fail it.
I’m WAY more liberal than I was back in my late teens, early 20’s when I came of political age… And I make more than most of my peers. All the ones that are super conservative are all like religious freaks and stuff. Which is weird, I don’t remember that from over 30 years ago. But then again, that was over 30 years ago…
Yeah a lot of us here feel that way. The only way I have become more conservative is more of a real old school text book definition of change isn’t bad but you know maybe we shouldn’t test the depth of the pool by jumping in head first either.
ETA and there are a lot of changes in our culture that are way overdue so full freaking steam ahead with the change and to hell with the haters.
I found that those who didn’t go to university didn’t make the shift, being in the workforce earlier. But those in University tended to lean left in the “government should pay for everything” way. Once they graduated, started work and noticed 28% of their income taxed away immediately - BEFORE paying federal and provincial tax on everything they bought - their outlook tended to change.
