Apple's torture-test lab


#1

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#2

At one point, MacAddict magazine did a story on the Apple torture test lab (circa 1998 or so) and they talked about some machine that would click a mouse a few thousand times before passing it to another machine that would roll the mouse “a million miles.”

Ikea has a simulated butt as well for their chair torture test lab; I wonder if by now there’s a reasonable business in just starting a company (“SitCo,” “Buttmaster”) that makes electronic butts?


#3

Have to say my one experience with Apple over an issue like this was pretty fantastic.

My ipad2 was dropped slightly, and happened to hit the corner of a piece of furniture with its edge right where the volume button is. This bent the case in a little, depressing the volume button keeping the sound off and the volume icon up all the time. I brought it into a store hoping they might be able to disable the hardware button for me or something… but they just swapped it for a new one for free (and, no, I never buy extended warranties).

From the video of this bending it looks like it is basically the same thing. There is a bit of a weak spot at the cutout for the volume button.


#4

My favorite detail in this whole story is that Apple chose to go public with a very specific number of affected units: nine.

I mean, that is such an easily falsifiable number, I am led to believe it is probably true.


#5

According to previous articles, it sounds like such tests might include “playful pillow fights”, “verbal scoldings”, and “dour looks”.


#6

There really should be an ANSI or ISO standard butt test…


#7

Yes, though for a slightly different industry. Quite a bit of competition there already too.


#8

https://twitter.com/darth/status/515270779487780864/photo/1

Courtesy Darth Smallberries.


#9

I want a app so if I drop my phone it screams on the way down.


#10

And cry after it crashes on the ground?


#11

[1]: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.a.a.aaah[quote=“SamWinston, post:9, topic:41760, full:true”]
I want a app so if I drop my phone it screams on the way down.
[/quote]

There’s an [Android][1] version and there was an Apple version submitted,


but I can’t find it on the Apple store. @Gareth_Spor would be the Boinger to speak to.

And there’s also some sauce-code here: https://github.com/jeradesign/falling-wilhelm


#12

Should be doable with something that polls the accelerometer. Likely to eat batteries, though.


#13

I held a friend’s phone yesterday which, as he showed me, vibrates if it undergos a certain amount of pressure or torque. I thought that was neat.


#14

Excellent. So now I can have a phone that screams when I drop it and begs for mercy when I crush it. :smiley:


#15

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